growing up

Sorry about my useless rants lately; I want to get back into these philosophical discussions ( well, they're not really discussions because no one else discusses them with me haha) but seriously, I want to get back into these important ideas and sharing my thoughts.

So a few minutes ago I got into a fight with my mom. Well, it wasn't really a fight, it kinda went like this:

I was brushing my hair, and she said, " Aren't you going to straighten it for tomorrow?" And I said, "No I'm going to wash it tomorrow." And she said, "Why do you wash your hair so much?" Now mind you, we've had this discussion many times before. She's told me a million times that I wash my hair too much when I reassure her that I don't. So you can imagine my frustration when I semi-yelled, " I only wash it every two days!" in a rather annoyed tone.....why did I even bother?

She, of course, threw a shit-fit and in her rant said something along the lines of " You're so disrespectful, what's the matter with you, you've gotten out of control since you came here...."

Out of control. Give me a break. So now, the fact that I told her that I wash my hair every two days in an annoyed voice means that I'm out of control. I'd hate to think what going out every night, getting drunk and doing drugs would be categorized as. 

The truth is (and I feel horrible about this) a part of me really wanted my parents to come, because I hadn't seen them in two months. But another even bigger part of me, didn't want them to come. I had been perfectly happy for the last two months, with no one telling me what to do, no one yelling at me, no one over my shoulder watching my every move. And I knew for a fact that when they got here, everything would start all over again just like it was back home. 

I've always said that 18 isn't a really big age for me. I mean sure you're an adult in the eyes of the law, but I know a bunch of people who are 18 and are so immature, they don't even deserve the word. 18 is just a number. But I've come to realize that that's the card I'm going to have to play. When this whole thing blows up and my parents and I have a confrontation, I'm going to have to tell them that I'm 18, I can do what I want, and they can't tell me what to do anymore. And that's something that I never wanted to do, and never saw myself doing. Every single day for the last two weeks, it's been: "Make your bed, don't eat that, go to bed, blah blah blah blah blah!!!" 

I am not a baby. And in case you haven't noticed I've been fine for the past two months without you here. And I know that there's no way I can say that without sounding completely stuck up or childish. Ironic, isn't it. I just want to be left alone. 

So my question for today is, at what age are our parents not allowed to tell us what to do anymore? Well a certain part of me knows that we can be 50 years old and our parents will tell us what to do, and we have to follow orders to a certain extent. But how long, what does it take for our parents to realize that we can take care of ourselves, and we can make decisions on our own?

If you know or have any advice, pleeease let me know haha. 

Song of the day: 11/22- Buddy

Until next time

Sary