en español

les ganamos hijueputas! jjajaja.

bueno, hablando de otras cosas, estoy harta de esta mierda. ya se lo que habia dicho antes pero que no me jodan mas estos malparidos. coman mierda. ni se por que estoy aqui. ojala que me fuera al fin del verano. ya me quiero ir. en este mierdero no hay nada que valga la pena, ni los amigos aparentemente.

Cancion del dia: California- Rogue Wave

Hasta la proxima
Sary

thus far

my summer has been okay. i've only really gone out about two times and my mornings have consisted of watching the Euro Cup playoffs. Not that it's a bad thing. Soccer is my favorite sport and i love watching the teams duke it out for the final. The championship game is on Sunday with Germany vs. Spain. I want Spain to win, mostly because i HATE the germans, but also because of this little hottie:

RRRRRRRRRRRR hahaha. i'm sorry i just think he's the hottest guy ever and he helped Spain win the last two matches. oh, and we also have the same birthday, so it's pretty much in the bag- we're going to get married.

anywho, tonight will be the third time i've gone out this summer. I'm going to see Northern tonight with Chris's girlfriend Kelly. And by the way, Northern is possibly my favorite band next to Coldplay. I saw them two years ago at chain and they were unbelievable. The conert is in Pomona and up until a few minutes ago, i thought Pomona was pretty close but apparently it's about an hour away haha. So tonight should be fun! I can't wait till 4th of July though. I think i wrote about my experience last year, and it was the best 4th of July ever, and i have a feeling this year is going to top it.

Yeahhh i'm having a hard time ending this, so i'll just say bye now!

Song of the day: Strawberry Swing- Coldplay

Until next time
Sary

lately

i've been realizing that a lot of my recent posts have been filled with such negativity.

no.

complaining is a more adequate word. i've been going back and reading what i've written and being away for a while helped me read it with an objective point of view. considering the fact that i hate it when people complain, the fact that i have been doing just that makes me a hypocrite.

and so i have decided to make a conscious effort to not complain about my circumstances or my troubles. if something is bothering me, i'll find a way to fix it, and if not, forget it and move on with my life.

gaahhhh i had so much more to write but i am being summoned!

Until next time
Sary

milestone

i think this entry's title is very appropriate, considering that i just graduated from highschool and it's my 100th post. so it's a milestone in my life, and the life of my blogger haha. well to catch up, let's start with disneyland.

the buses got there about 45 minutes late and we didn't get there till almost ten. it was freaking hot that day, the new toy story ride opened, and 15 other schools decided to go that day too. so needless to say it wasn't so much fun. i mean, i tried my best to not be so pessimistic and did have some fun, but long lines and a burning sun is never a good combination at disneyland haha.

then yesterday was graduation. and there's much to say about that. well, first thing i did in the morning was bolt over to target and buy "viva la vida". i love every single song on there except one, which doesn't happen often with me and albums. it's simply amazing. then in the afternoon i drove myself to tustin high and i got there like 10 minutes early so parking was NOT a bitch haha. then i went into the gym to wait and it was sooo hot and sticky, everyone was pretty much miserable. then we walked out into the blazing sun and sat for about an hour listening to everyone's speeches and whatnot. and then they called our names and right after i started dancing in line, they called my name and i got my diploma. my favorite part? turning my tassel from right to left and throwing my cap up in the air. i had been waiting to do that since i was a little girl.

despite the excitement towards the end though, i felt (and i still do) numb towards everything in a way. maybe it was the fact that it hadn't really registered, or the fact that i was just completely over highschool. still, i regret that i didn't feel more emotion.

then grad night was last night. it was pretty fun for the most part, except towards the end when i was completely drained and just wanted to go home. we left dave & busters at 5ish and i got home at quarter to 6. once again, i didn't feel anything over the fact that this was the last time i would be with all the other seniors in years. i was completely apathetic to the fact that this was the last senior event, or the last time i would be driving out of the parking lot and stuff like that.

and even as i am writing this, i still don't believe that i graduated yesterday and that i'm out of highschool. i still feel like i have school tomorrow and it'll be the same routine as always: park in the junior lot, walk to zero, hate english, walk with courtney to econ, make fun of sads with lauren, book it over to math and dread it, have break with sam and kathryn, eagerly waiting for psych to start, having in depth life discussions with kelsey and jill, laugh my butt off with the entire class, and just hang around in video.

well, for lack of feeling, the nostalgia is certainly kicking in. i know it sounds cliche but the last 4 years, especially senior year, have gone by so fast. looking back, i wouldn't mind going back to a monotous day of school one last time. i know it sounds crazy, but that's how it is.

on another note, completely aside from school, i am so over one particular aspect of my life. i realized that i shouldn't have to settle for anything or anyone, i don't even care about this thing that has been bugging me for a long time, and i couldn't be leaving at a better time. in fact i wish i was leaving sooner.

Song of the day: Death and All his Friends- Coldplay

PEACE

spoke too soon

yesterday was a traumatizing event in my life. i didn't speak at all for about two hours because i was in such shock. i don't want to get in to what happened, because i'd rather just forget it ever occurred. but it is something that will stay in my mind forever, and in my family's as well. hopefully disneyland tomorrow will help me forget, but i can't help just getting flashes of what happened in my mind over and over again.

Until next time
Sary

100%

haha wow, reading that last post, i forgot how angry i was that day. in the end, everything got swept under the rug and i was forced to forget about it like i always do.

but today was/is going to be an awesome day. i got up at 8 today which i was pretty bummed about, but i went to school and took my last final. words can't describe how good it felt to bubble in the last answer of my highschool carreer. and when i started walking towards my car i saw my entire highschool experience in about 3 seconds, and the only thing i could think of was the words "I'm done." over and over again.

and if that wasn't good enough, one of my favorite songs of all time was playing on the radio and i listened to it all the way home. i just got this overwhelming feeling of accomplishment and felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

and to start off what is going to be an AWESOME summer, Jill's grad party is tonight and i'm stoked. Then Tuesday is DLAND and Wednesday is graduation! I can't believe it. Then after that i got the whole summer ahead of me. And if it's anything close to last summer, then i'll be the happiest kid in the world.

Song of the day: Your Song- Elton John

Until next time
Sary

EFFING PISSED

i am so mad/frustrated right now. i swear, i haven't been this pissed off in such a long time, like this doesn't happen very often for me.

i feel like if anyone tries to talk to me i'm going to explode right in their face. and i'm just sick and tired of my "friends' " bullshit. Seriously, get a fucking life, have some freaking dignity, and don't be so fucking inconsiderate with other people's feelings.

i can honestly say i trust no one in this fucking goddamn place.

catch a falling star

i haven't written in a week or so, due to the fact that i completely forgot.

so, the realization of graduating is finally starting to set in. next week is my last week of classes and the next few days after that are going to be TIIIIGHT.

• Senior Picnic
• Grad Party
• Disneyland
• Graduation!
• Grad Night

i laff it.

Song of the Day: The a la menthe- La Caution

Until next time
Sary

boooored

ugh this weekend was so boringggg! i really didn't do anything except mooch around the house all day. but on the other hand i guess it was good cause i've been so stressed out at school and stuff. ONLY THREE MORE WEEKS! words cannot describe my excitement.

on another note, i lurve the prom pics :)

Song of the day: Forever- Sol Seppy

Until next time

Sary

it wasn't me!

my title is totally random. i don't know, it was just the first thing i thought of. it's a recurring quote from one of my favorite movies. anyways, the heatwave broke, but now we have freakin like, MONSOON weather and it poured yesterday and rained today. this weather is freaking crazy. just adds to my theory that the world will end in four years. i'm not even kidding. but trust me, that's a whollllle other entry. it's a subject i don't want to get into right now.

anywho i have ABSOLUTELY nothing else to write today. so sorry if you came here looking for some juicy piece of gossip from my life! :)

Song of the day: Sweetness Follows- R.E.M.

Until next time
Sary

the heat wave

is killing me. this is why i hate summer. well i mean, i like it because there's no school and stuff, but i hate the weather. ANYWAYS.

i've been having the weirdest dreams lately and they all seem to come true in one way or another. it's strange. it's funny too cause i've always thought that i've been psychically inclined and everyone always laughs at me. but trust me, i have the gift!

there's really not much to write about tonight. i was just bored and wanted to keep up the habit of updating. *shrug*.

let's see, what's a really cool philosophical thought that i can leave on? oh, i found this really cool quote the other day that seems to describe my view on religion to a tee. in the past year or so, i've really been questioning my thoughts and beliefs about religion, questioning if i even believed in a God or not. but i seem to have a reached a conclusion:

"Love God with all your heart, and do what you want."

Success.

Song of the day: Joker and the Thief- Wolfmother

Until next time

Sary

the list

After tomorrow, I'll have SOOO many things to look forward to. I mean, graduation and stuff go without saying obviously, but i'm talking about all the things i get to do before i leave. there's so many places for me to see, so many things for me to do that i started to make a list. I call it "The List" hahah. So yeah, basically i'm just writing down all the things i have to accomplish before i leave in December. It includes such things as:

• Eat at BJ's
• Watch the sunrise from Cowan Heights (or somewhere up there)
• Compare my handprints at Mann's Chinese Theater
• Go ghost riding

Haha, ok that last one, i GUESS i could do in Costa Rica, but that just defeats the whole purpose! Anyways, i studied as much as i could for the psych AP tomorrow, hopefully i'll do well on it. Only 22 more days of school left. Holy sheeeeit. I cannot wait. Honestly, the thing that i'm looking forward to the most is throwing my cap up in the air. That will seriously be a defining moment in my life.

I don't know, i guess all this joy and enthustiasticness stems from the fact that i saw "Into the Wild" a few nights ago, and has changed my outlook on many things in my life. So right about.......NOW......things are looking pretty good.

:)

Song of the day: Somewhere Only We Know- Keane

Until next time

Sary

Viva la Vida

ok, so i've only downloaded two tracks from Coldplay's new album (legally, thank you very much!) and i can already tell it's freaking AWESOME. and they announced their US tour dates today! they're not playing in southern california, which sucks, but i think the closest place is Vegas or Glendale.

Who's down???

Song of the Day: Viva la vida- Coldplay

Until next time
Sary

legal beagle

it is my 18th birthday today. it's so surreal. it doesn't even feel like it. i know i said i wasn't really excited for it, but last night got me so amped up for today. haha, trust me, that doesn't mean i'm happy about getting older.

but last night was so much fun! THANK GOD. after 4 years of thinking about prom, i was scared it wouldn't live up to my expectations, but i had so much fun. i'm glad it wasn't a total disaster. and i'm so glad i got to share it with chris and casey! that was just the cherry on top of it all. i mean, it was pretty much granted that i would have a good time with those two.

on another note, i OWNED at rock n bowl last night.....by two points hahaha. but yes, overall last night was pretty much perfect, and hopefully today will be awesome as well. it's so weird to think i've been alive for 18 years.....

now i can buy porn!! yeahhhh!!! hahahhaha

Song of the day: You give me something- James Morrison

Until next time
Sary

depressed?

smallville was meh tonight. i can't wait till the finale though. and i have a feeling next year is going to suck big time.

so my birthday is on sunday, and i'm not excited about it at all. what's wrong with me?! it's my freaking 18th birthday, i should be ecstatic. It's funny but what my uncle said to me on my 15th birthday is definitely ringing true: "Sary, after your 15th birthday, the years go by like that *snaps fingers*" haha.

i know it's pathetic and i have my whole life ahead of me, but 18 just sounds SOOOO OOLLDD! if it were up to me, i'd stay a kid forever. it's interesting because we were talking about credit today in econ, and it hit me that adulthood focuses sooo much on money, and mortgages, and bad credit, and payments and bullshit. it's no wonder people just fade away when they get older because they spend every waking moment of their life worrying about next month's paycheck. and living in this place certainly lends itself to that.

and you know, i see my parents and see their situation, and their life has become just that. it's all about material things and stress, and there's never enough time to just enjoy being alive, and that's not a life at all. and that's exactly what i dont' want to become. i guess that's one of the reason's why i didn't really hesitate to move, because life is so different there. it's just like a completely different world.

so i don't know, with AP's, cancelling my admission, knowing that i'm leaving in 7 months, and realizing that growing up means having to face the fact that you get more and more detached from living, maybe the reason why i'm not looking forward to my birthday is because it could not have come at a worst time.

Song of the day: Meaning- Gavin Degraw

Until next time
Sary

May 14th

i'm in the homestretch right now. and May 14th is THE day- the day when i can just cruise for the rest of the year and not be so friggin stressed outtttt. just thought i'd share that with you.

and i hope what i found out today isn't true....

Song of the day: From Where You Are- Lifehouse

Until next time
Sary

lame!

that word up there describes me two years ago.

i was reading some of the first entries i ever wrote in this thing and GOD was i a dweeb! haha. but it kinda got me feeling nostalgic too. it's amazing how things can change so drastically, how friends come and go. haha, and i'm sure i'll find myself reading this two years from now thinking how lame i was for thinking i was lame two years ago...

....or something.

Song of the day: Saturday- Josh Rouse

Until next time
Sary

prommm

blech i'm so tired.

ok so prom is in 8 days. and to be honest it's weird to even say that. for as long as i can remember i have always wondered what my senior prom is going to be like. and now it's here and...it's not that great haha. i mean don't get me wrong, i'm super excited and i can't wait to go find my dress and everything but after fantasizing about it for so long, i just don't think it can live up to my expectations. but who knows? time will tell.

today was fun, i spent all afternoon prom dress shopping with casey. oh, and i have just become a fan of chik-fil-a. i've been its sworn enemy for the past 6 years and today i had some chicken nuggets and a shake. DELICIOUS.

anyways, it's so nice to have this thing back. i say that as if it went somewhere and i lost it or something, when really it was my own reluctancy that kept me from writing for the past four months. but yeah, it's nice to look forward to writing each day. i luuurve it.

Song of the day: Rebellion Lies- Arcade Fire

Until next time

Sary

i know

the last time i wrote was last year.

but forget it. forget last year, forget previous entries, forget previous thoughts, forget plans, forget everything. i won't even acknowledge what i wrote all those months ago because i honestly feel like a new person. i don't know why, i don't know how, but i have a whole new appreciation for life, for my home, and my memories.

maybe it was the fact that everything i had planned since i was 12 years old, everything i swore would come to pass....will not. i mean maybe it will someday, but this huge decision will definitely push all my plans back a few years. for the first time, i'm deciding not to be so sensible and anal. i'm saying "to hell with life" and letting things unfold by themselves.

this is going to be a whole new adventure for me, and i have no idea what to expect. i'm reluctant, i'm sad, but at the same time i am so excited for the things that wait for me. and who knows? maybe i'll find what i'm looking for. maybe the last six years of planning were a complete waste, and the things that make me happy were under my nose all along.

because of all this, i decided that i won't waste a single minute of the time i have left. in the next 8 months, i'll do everything i have never done, and the things i have done, i'll do them one last time. i'll soak in everything california has to offer. but the more i think about it, the more i know that i'll miss this place like crazy.

if you haven't figured it out already, i'm moving to Costa Rica in December.

Song of the day (oh how i missed you): The Great Salt Lake- Band of Horses

Until next time
Sary

wow

good GOD it's been such a long time....i apologize.

many a thing has happened in the last two months, but it's more than i care to write about. you know, it's winding down to the new year and i pretty much feel the same as i did last year. how fucking sad is that? granted things have definitely changed, for the better IMO, but i still feel like there is something lacking in my life. i know exactly what it is too.

so, this year i decided to actually MAKE a new year's resolution as opposed to last time when i didn't, because um....well that didn't work out did it? and i have a strong feeling that i will accomplish it this time. i've wasted so much time being unhappy and not doing anything about it. i'm sick of feeling the same at the end of every year and not growing as a person. i turn 18 in five months, and it's time i get my shit together.

i'll write again tomorrow for some final thoughts about this past year, but for now, just let me sulk in my sadness one more fucking time.

Song of the day: Cancelling Christmas- Michelle Featherstone

Until next time
Sary