Bruce

I will remember today as a VERY important day in my life.

No, not because the stock market crashed exactly 80 years ago today (Jesus!) but because today I became the proud owner of my very first car: 1990 VW Beetle.

More details tomorrow. I'm too excited to even think right now.

Song of the day: She's Always a Woman- Billy Joel

Until next time

Sary

Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

hehe.....

I know, I know, it's been over a month since I wrote. But I actually have been really busy with school. It really just takes up my whole life :(

But in the midst of all this craziness I have discovered a passion and an unknown ability for a new art that I thought I was never good at: drawing. So I was on Youtube looking up random videos and I came across this one. It caught my attention because I've always wanted to learn how to draw, especially eyes, so I checked it out. Then I sat down and started my first attempt at an actual real drawing. I mean sure I had drawn other stuff before (horribly) but they had never turned out the way I wanted them. I was amazed at how good it turned out. And then I realized that the techniques used to draw the eyes are pretty much the same techniques for the rest of the face in terms of shading. The only hard part is getting the shapes right. Anyways, long story short I have recently become fixated with this and have already done two other drawings in the past week. My goal is this:

To make nine drawings of musicians/actors that inspire me or have changed my life somehow and hang them up. They are: Liza Minnelli, Gene Kelly, Judy Garland, Jeff Buckley, Freddie Mercury, Bob Dylan, Frank Sinatra and Joe Cocker. I think it would add a nice touch to the otherwise empty walls of my room. So that's what I've been focusing on now and it really fills the void for all the lack of creativity I've been feeling the past few months. It's so nice to be creative again.

In other news, my love and obsession with Big Band crooners from the 50's and 60's has led me to another musical branch which I have listened a lot to before, but today it's been in over-drive. I spent most of the day listening to John Coltrane, Miles Davis, and Charles Mingus, three pioneers of the New York Jazz scene. They're incredible. Especially in "Live from Stockholm". Highly recommend a listen. Oh and it's funny because I've been really getting into Billy Joel lately and I haaaated him before haha. I really don't know why...maybe it's because of "We Didn't Start the Fire" hahaha, TERRIBLE song. But he's seriously underrated and "And So it Goes" is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard in my life. So with that, I'll leave you with some of my drawings and a little Mingus.

Song of the Day: Haitian Fight Song- Charles Mingus

Until next time

Sary

i'm full

I've been downloading such good music lately it's not even funny. I'm sitting here at my computer with nothing to do so I thought I'd squeeze in an entry. But I don't even know what to write...

...oh, well I was looking at some of my older posts recently and first of all I don't even remember writing a lot of them, and the ones that I do remember writing just seem like a completely different person. I was kind of....not immature, but just annoying when I first started writing in this blog haha. Typical 16 year old right? But at the time I thought I was all that and a bag of chips haha.

So how am I feeling today? Ugh well my cousins are coming over in about 2 minutes and I just really don't feel like seeing them....hahaha nevermind they're here. Crap. Oh well I guess I'll write tomorrow, or maybe later. Really lame post sorry! haha. But enjoy this:

Song of the day: Claire de Lune- Claude Debussy

Until next time

Sary

run

The last two days have been a whirlwind of emotions. Maybe it's because I'm getting frustrated of being in the house all day and my feelings of restriction and feeling trapped are being elevated to the 100th power because of it. Or maybe being locked up in here has forced me to take an introspective look inside myself and figure out what the hell I'm doing in my life. But like many things in my life, it started with a car.....

So I've been looking for a car as you know and settled on a VW Superbeetle as you know, for an infinite number of reasons. The one that I actually fell in love with is being sold tomorrow because we didn't act fast enough. We went to see two other ones which were total pieces of crap. My parents have since been convinced that we'll never find the right one because they're too old and there's always the chance that it'll break down and it's not worth it and blah blah blah. Basically they told me to pick a new car. Needless to say, this crushed and disillusioned me which made me hang around the house all day yesterday in a really bad mood. So there's that aspect of disappointment.

Then there's school. Oh, the never-ending conundrum that is school. I'm starting my third term next week and that just reiterates how much I have left to go. It turns out it's probably going to be a bit longer than I thought, maybe a term more. But still, watching everything that my friends are doing back home and how they're working towards their own goals and dreams, I can't help but think that I'm wasting two years of my life here. The desire to study film and learn and become the best that I can at it is so ardent and desperate sometimes I think I might explode. The best way I can describe is it's like those dreams you have when you try to run but your feet are stuck in the ground. You become so desperate to just take a step but you're immobile and stationary. It's a horrible feeling. It's what I feel everyday.

I thought about this pretty much all day yesterday and it really gave me the opportunity to reflect and think of a plan. I think I came up with a pretty concrete one but I'm still working out the details. I'll let you know when it's for sure. Being here in such a restricted place has opened my eyes though to all the possibilities that could happen for me, or rather things that I wish would happen for me. I mean, thinking about what I want to do when I leave has created all these new goals and ambitions in my mind, which is really what gets me through the tough days. Knowing that I have all these things that I want to accomplish gives me a sense of purpose and inspiration.

So things are looking pretty pessimistic from where I stand right now, but the possibility that I can actually be truly happy one day keep me going.

On the brighter side of things, I've been downloading some really good music lately, mostly Big Band/Jazz/Swing. I've always been fascinated with old Hollywood glamour and the authenticity of music back then, but for some reason this interest has gone into serious mode overload recently. I think I've developed an obsession with New York and the Jazz/Big Band scene from the 1940's and 50's from this too. Haha I know, Hollywood and New York, two complete opposites right?

I also discovered an AMAZING guy today: Peter Bradley Adams. His songs just seriously leave me dumb-founded every time I listen. I've been playing around with Garageband recently, recording some of my own stuff and I've been trying to find an artist or a band that represent how I want my music to sound. I had no idea until I found this guy today. That's what I want my music to sound like. Anyways, I intended to make like a two paragraph entry today but alas! Look what it's become! Funny how that happens, huh?

Song of the day: The Longer I Run- Peter Bradley Adams

Until next time

Sary

mind wipe?

I swear I thought I posted something for August. Ugh, I'm sorry.

In the process of re-evaluating my life again and setting new goals for myself. Promise to update in the days to come.

I will tell you this though, I think I'm going through a new phase (and it's a phase I hope I'll never grow out of )....

CROONERS.

:)

Song of the day: New York, New York- Frank Sinatra

Until next time

Sary

i think it's going to rain today

^^ that might be one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard.

WELL. I'm back. I have neglected- scratch that- forgotten about my blogger for a month and a half. For this I apologize. But I have to admit, I've been feeling kind of....incomplete for the past few weeks haha. This might be the reason. So here I am on a Thursday night, it's 12:43 a.m., about ready to go to bed and it hits me: I haven't written an entry since June 13th! I drag my hands to type the url in the address bar, thinking that if I don't do it now, I never will. Which of course leaves the question: what do I write about?

Honestly, my thoughts are so juggled between new friends, old friends, school, California (always), movies I have to see, annoying people, my fears, Cabaret, VW Bugs, the gym, the future, the past, love interests (or lack thereof), guitar strings, the electric bill, my music, my friend in Montreal, money, Jon & Kate plus 8, my diminishing hard drive space, family, Smallville, Comic-Con, how late it is, etc., that I wouldn't even know where to begin even if I wanted to. So let's just all be content with me saying: those are the things that I've been thinking about/doing since I last wrote. That and my new obsession with Liza Minnelli HAHA (weird?!).

But seriously, let's just wipe the slate clean and talk about things commencing as of.....now. In fact, let's talk about what the future holds for me in the months to come. It's hard to believe that on August 29th, I'll have been here for a year. It's gone by so excruciatingly slow for me. I mean California seems so far back in my life now. The good news is that I'm going back in December! I want to go for all of my vacation. I have so many things that I want to do, people I want to see, places I want to visit again. I cannot wait. So there's that, and the quarter ends in one month, so I'm seeing which classes I'm signing up for and stuff. School here is....interesting. Actually forget I just said that. It's sad. It's really sad. I'm studying something I absolutely hate and I....really don't have any true friends at school. I mean, I have a lot of friends, don't get me wrong. But in reality they're just people that I hang out with at school so I don't have to sit alone at lunch haha. I mean, I don't hang out with them outside of school or anything, and I certainly don't trust any of them enough to really get to know me. And I consciously make this decision every day for a number of reasons. One is that I'm so bitter about going to this school that I refuse to look on the bright side and make some actual friends so I cut myself off emotionally. Another is that even if I wanted to make some true friends for life, I'm leaving in a little more than a year. Why put myself through the same pain I had when I left California? I just really don't see the point. And on top of all that, I compare everyone to my best friends back home....no one even comes close to them.

There's also the situation about my citizenship and license. In a few weeks I will officially be Costa Rican, and thereby will be able to get my license, and thereby will be able to get a car, and thereby will have a kick-ass 1971 Super Beetle :D

I was looking at some today and called the owners too. Looks promising so far. Still haven't found that right one for me though. Let's see what else? Oh, I don't remember what I exactly said about my uncle last time, but he made it through his surgery and then about 3 weeks ago almost died for a completely different reason. I don't really want to get into what happened, but he's alive and well again! I mean, if I told you the whole story you wouldn't believe it. It's seriously a miracle that he's still alive. But because of what happened they had to post-pone the chemo. I don't know when he starts.

In other news, I've been re-assessing my life again, and I'm sort of stuck in terms of what I really want to accomplish in my life. But even more so, the person that I want to be. I mean I have this picture, but I'm just not sure how to get there. But I know that the first step is to start loving myself more. I'm almost there. And I have a feeling that in the months to come that step will be fully taken.

And that's about it for now! I didn't mean for it to get this long! haha. But I promise to start writing more often, I seriously really missed this.

Song of the day: Jesus was a Crossmaker- The Hollies

Until next time

Sary

I'll be faithful, I'll be true

he's alright :)

he got operated on yesterday and everything came out fine THANK GOD. They removed 6 inches from his intestine and part of his pancreas. But it seems like they've removed everything and hopefully it will stay this way. I don't know what else to say except that I'm so happy!

Anywho, things here at home have been less eventful. I hate school as always and the day when I graduate just seems like a lifetime away. I want to move back so bad, I can't even put it into words.

I don't know, I've just been having a rough couple of weeks but I'm super happy that my uncle is better. I'll update you when I'm feeling better.

Song of the day: We are nowhere and it's now- Bright Eyes

Until next time

Sary

life

life can get in the way.

it can keep you from updating your blogger in over a month.

it can keep you from studying for a test.

it can keep you from calling your best friend for two months.

it can keep you from making your car payment.

it can keep you from going skydiving.

it can keep you from not living every day to the fullest.

it can keep you from knowing that your uncle has cancer.

He's my favorite one. We all found out on Thursday and I was in shock for a few days. I didn't cry. Today is his birthday. And when I called him to wish him a happy birthday, I just lost it. I couldn't stop crying because I knew that this might be his last birthday ever. 

The cancer is super advanced and there's much hope left but everything's not lost. They're operating on Wednesday and there's a slight chance that everything will turn out okay. But if not, there's two things that can happen: we can lose him right there on the operating board, or he survives and lives for a few more months. 

I have been having the shittiest two weeks of my entire life and finding out about my uncle having cancer is the straw that broke the camel's back. You know I hate being pessimistic but I'm in such a rut, and all I want to do is go back home and see my uncle and stay for good. I really don't like it here, but I'm trying to look on the bright side of things.

My uncle is SO optimistic and you can't even tell he has a terminal disease. And I was so impressed and proud of how our family came together. I mean, within two days, my aunt and my grandparents flew over there and my other uncle is leaving on Tuesday. All the brothers and the sister is there and the parents are there too. He has the support of the entire family and we are all there for him because he needs us now more than ever. But I was so amazed by how united we became because I've never really seen our family spring into action like that. One of the great things of growing up in a huge family. 

As for my own moral support, apart from my family's, I know that two close friends are there for me. That's it. And I really don't care who else is behind me or not. Like I told Simon, I can't worry about the fact that someone hasn't called me in a long time because I'm not their mother. If they're not here for me, then that's a shame because a real friend would be here for me. The situation is what it is. I can't worry about someone else's stupidity and apathy right now. I don't have the time or the energy. I simply do not care. 

I'll keep you updated on the situation and please hope that everything will turn out alright. I'm not giving up on the slim chance of success but I think I've prepared myself for the worse. The funny thing is, I went downstairs for about an hour and when I came back this song was playing. If you listen to the lyrics and the meaning, I think you'll agree that it might be a sign.

Song of the day: Trapeze Swinger- Iron & Wine

Until next time

Sary

Bonne Aniversaire

This is me, one year ago.

I don't remember if "Bonne" should be masculine or feminine. In any case...

....not only does this mark the first entry of May, but it is also 

MY BIRTHDAY!!

So I was lying in bed watching American Idol when I realized it was only a few minutes till midnight. So I opened my dashboard to the little calendar thingy and counted down the seconds till Monday. It was pretty cool watching the number change from a three to a four. And now it's 6 past midnight. I thought, I think I'll write in a new entry in my first minutes of being 19!

Exactly one year ago today, I had just had one of the best nights of my life at prom, we had gotten out at 11:30 or so, and right about now we would've been driving to Tustin Lanes for midnight bowling. Gosh, such fond memories it really makes me want to cry, especially with Sigur Ros playing in the background right now. I like these little moments to myself when everyone else is asleep and I can just have some time to think and reflect. So a few thoughts about turning 19:

I am way excited. I mentioned before I always looked forward to turning 19 which is weird because I simply abhorred turning 18. At the same time it's kind of sad because it technically marks the end of my teenage years. I know I've got my whole life ahead of me, but I really feel like the years are coming on fast. It isn't until now that I realize how fleeting life can be. Lately I've been having a lot of dreams about my family and friends dying or just losing someone in general and I'm not really sure what that means. I guess I've been thinking a lot about death lately and the fact that my birthday was coming up just really made me realize how lucky I was to be alive and how I should take advantage of the little time I have, that we all have here. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that....next year I'll be 20. God just typing that out makes me feel weird. And I remember as a kid always wondering what I would look like and the person I would be as an adult. It's one of those things that you always know is going to happen, but it's always surprising when it comes around. I remember feeling this exact same way at graduation. The time is coming when that question that I had as a kid will finally be answered and I guess it just hasn't really sunk in is all. But for what it's worth, I'm pretty happy with the person that I've become. There's definitely a lot of room for improvement, but the basics are there. I think I've started to become the person that I eventually want to be. Now I just have to put the gear in second and I'll be on my way. 

But I've already started to make that change. Jesus, just looking back to a year ago, I was a newly-turned 18 year old, couldn't wait to graduate and really had no idea what would happen to me here. And I really didn't have any opinions about anything: politics, the environment, the human condition, nothing. And I really attribute my self-realization to my move down here. Once I was stripped away from the home I had known all my life, my best friends, all the materialistic bullshit I finally had the chance to find myself, to figure out what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be. It's funny but it took leaving California for me to actually grow as a person. I have changed so much in the last year. And as hard as this move was, I don't regret it, and I would do it again. Because if I hadn't I would still be that ignorant, apathetic person I was a year ago. 

I really feel sorry for a lot of my friends back home, who have no thoughts about life and don't care about anything other than getting high and putting more music on their iPod. If they could just get out and get a glimpse of the world like I did, and realize that there's so much more out there....I don't know. Maybe we all would've had a psychological revolution. 

Anyways, I am thankful that I survived another year. I hope that this year will yield even more change and growth on my part. Here's to my last year as a "teenager" haha. Let's make the most of it.

Song of the day: Gódan Daginn- Sigur Ros

Until next time 

Sary

i'm horrible

4 posts for April? LAAAMMME. I'm so sorry, blogger. But I have a good excuse. I have been working my ass off for all of my final projects and exams. Tomorrow I find out if I passed marketing, don't even get me started on that. I don't want to talk about school anymore. I finished the semester today....I actually survived my first semester of college! haha

So the good news is that I get two weeks off starting today! It was all definitely harder than I thought but I think I passed all of my classes....I don't know if you realize that strangeness of that sentence...Sarynelli worried if she passed a class or not? I know, it's true. I have gone from straight-A honor roll high school student to mediocre college student who just cares if she got higher than a 70 in a class. Oh, how people change :)

I apologize for my pessimistic attitude last time. It's not really like me, I usually try to look on the bright side of things and not panic. But I guess I was just frustrated at the situation I was in...I was so sure things would end up my way, but as I've said many many times before, things don't always end up the way you plan. Certain events in my life have demonstrated this to me over and over again. Maybe the cosmos is trying to tell me something?! haha.

But since then, that was like three weeks ago I think, I have re-assessed the situation and decided to make the best of it. At the end of the day, it's the most reasonable decision to take and the safest, which unfortunately also means that my dream of becoming a legendary filmmaker will have to wait a few more years. But the best things in life are usually the ones worth waiting for. Anyways, I'm feeling better about it. I'm just going to concentrate on school and the years will go flying by. 

Well.

In case you didn't know, it's my birthday on Monday. I can't wait. The ironic thing about this is that if you check back to exactly one year ago, I was PISSED that I was turning 18 haha. I DID NOT want to turn 18 because then I was officially an adult and my youth was disappearing and blah blah blah. Strangely though, I have ALWAYS looked forward to turning 19. Haha, I don't why, it just always seemed such a cool age to me. Like, "....Hey...I'm 19..." HAHA. But at the same time, typing out those numbers just now, 1-9, I really can't believe it. I'll be freaking 20 next year. In all seriousness, I really feel like my life is going by so quickly! Which is just another reason to make the best out of your life and always have the conviction to follow your dreams. I feel like I've grown so much since I turned 18, mostly in part because I was still in California when I turned 18. Jesus. That seems like so long ago! But anywho, I'll talk about that more on Monday. But remember to send me birthday wishes :) 

So let's see, what else? Oh, things with the love interest have kind of plateaued unfortunately. And I won't see him again for atleast another two weeks...who knows, maybe some time apart will be good haha. 

I really can't wait to go visit back home in December. I've already started planning. I would go further into detail about this, but How to Lose A Guy in 10 days just started and I am NOT going to miss it haha. I think a chick flick and some popcorn is exactly what I need after such a stressful two weeks.

The Amelie soundtrack has been on repeat for the last two days on my computer....so it's only natural....

Song of the day: J'y Suis Jamais Allé- Yann Tiersen

Until next time

Sary

Because I'm too lazy...

This is the e-mail that I wrote to Mrs. Pahl:

"I miss you Mrs. Pahhhlll!!! And Casey too of course. And Rocky and Benny. Things are going pretty well here. I had Spring Break last week and went to the beach! It was sooo beautiful. The beaches were pretty desolate despite the fact that all the gringos came down to spend their spring break here haha. My cousin drove by the airport last Monday and said there was a line of tourists that spanned about 100 meters haha!. We get lots visitors this time of year. But today it rained! It's raining right now actually. And I think this marks the beginning of the rain for us...it's going to pour continuously from here till December pretty much :(

Casey seemed pretty bummed when I told her I wasn't coming in May, so was I. What really sucks is that my mom is going in May...to know that she's going without me makes me furious! haha. But I think it's better this way. I'm going in December for sure and I get a whole month off of school so I can stay longer than I would have in May. Plus, December is my favorite month, I get waaay into the Christmas spririt haha. There's no other place that I would rather spend in December than back home. 

Apart from everything else, I'm going through an existential crisis! haha. I would really love your advice or support, because you would pretty much be the only person offering :/

The thing is, I'm not happy at all at school. I mean, I love the people, the campus, the whole experience, but I just HATE what I'm studying. I wasn't planning on registering next semester because four months of business administration have just really showed me that it's not for me, and I would die if I went into that as a profession. It's also made me realize how much I love film and how I know that I won't be happy if I'm not doing that. 

So when I told my parents, they of course freaked out. My original plan was to just work for the next year or two and save up enough money to go back home and study film. But they said there is no way they are letting me waste a year of my life working because sooner or later I won't want to go back to school. So they gave me two options: I can either 

a) continue to go to school for the next two years and get my bachelors. After that, I can do whatever I want- stay here, go back home and study whatever I want. The problem is I think I will literally DIE if I have to take two more years of this major.

b) if I dropout now, I go back home as soon as possible and I'm basically on my own. They pretty much said they can't support me if I'm over there (and they also mentioned their great disappointment in me if I dropout of school).

Here's the thing: Their argument is that if I get a bachelor's and go back to live in California, I'll atleast have some sort of base to get a good job and be able to afford a comfortable living situation while paying for film school (and I hate to admit it but they're right) as opposed to getting a full time at Starbucks or whatever making minimum wage. They also mentioned their great disappointment in me if I dropout about a hundred times. 

But I just don't see how I'm going to survive for the next two years studying something that I hate. I guess my good sense is telling me to suck it up for the next two years- sometimes we have to make sacrifices and do things we don't want to do...

...another thing that really bothered me is their lack of support in regards to what I want do with my life. They don't take me and my passion for film seriously and most of the time laugh at me for wanting do something so unorthodox...my mom referred to it as a "hobby"...that really hurt. I mean, when your own parents don't support you in something you've been wanting since you were a little kid it just makes it that much harder to acheive. 

So right now alllll the odds are against me and everything and everyone is telling me to give up my dream. Any words of advice? Moral support? Money to send my way? haha.

Anyways, sorry for rambling but I feel better now that it's off my chest. I hope everyone is doing great and I hope to hear from you soon! Give casey a huge hug for me!

Love 

Sary"

pretty much.

Song of the day: Deleft Schremp- Band of Horses

Until next time

Sary

Montezuma's Revenge

^^ This is so cool, I googled Montezuma and that's the hotel that my cousin owns buried in the palm trees!

I think I've already posted an entry with that title....and I just realized the other day that I had the same "Song of the Day" for two entries in a row haha. Ray is just a genius, what can I say?

So I'm leaving in about 3 hours for Montezuma. Yes, we are leaving at 2 a.m. It marks the commencement of my first spring break in Costa Rica! I should try to get atleast one hour of sleep but I know it's not gonna happen. I love waking up in the middle of the night for family road trips. It reminds me of our first road trip to San Francisco. But if there is one thing that I love, it's driving in the middle of the night. The world seems so calm, so peaceful, it makes me feel like I'm the only person in the world. The fact that everyone else is safe, asleep in their beds gives me a feeling of such comfort, I don't know why! haha. But on the list of small pleasures that I love, that would definitely be at the top. 

We come back on Saturday and I'm going to make the most of the four days we're spending there. I'm going to see my uncle Eugene of Thursday who is one of my favorite uncles...he's German! haha. Like full on "I was born in Germany before the wall came down" German haha. And also *CROSSING FINGERS* the love interest will meet up with me in the next few days. I'm so excited. :D

I promise to take a crap load of pictures to document this great trip. So I'll probably check in again on Sunday, if I'm not too tired. Wish me luck with the love interest and I hope you have a great spring break! (If you haven't already)

:)

Song of the day: The Blower's Daughter- Damien Rice

Until next time

Sary

April showers

It's raining right now! Which is cool I guess....I love the sound of rain on the tin roofs. Before I go off and watch the Jane Austen Book Club (which is a wonderful little movie) I thought I'd squeeze in an entry. 

Well, it's April! I've always liked April, it's always been a good month. Well, bittersweet would be a more accurate word. April is the month that my grandma died. Yesterday it was her 5 year anniversary. I can't believe it's been 5 years already. I remember the night that it happened...something that will definitely stay burned in my mind for the rest of my life. That was really the first experience I ever had with death. I remember I didn't cry for about 4 or 5 days. I just felt numb and incredibly guilty for that. It took about 5 days for it to sink in and after I realized she was gone forever I really lost it. And I wasn't extremely close with her you know? I mean I loved her to death and she always carried a special place in my heart, but I just never got to see her that much. So we loved each other immensely but just simply weren't that close. I still think about her often.

April was also the month when I started going out with my first boyfriend. Ahhh fond memories hahah. But for me, April and love (or love interests I guess I should say) have always gone hand in hand. Maybe that's why I love it so much haha. See because now, things with my current love interest are going extremely well. And I'm so happy. We're both going to Montezuma next week for spring break and we're meeting up! I can't wait. 

I've been playing the piano a lot lately, but it's so freaking hard! A lot of hand coordination is needed. I guess since I'm so used to playing the guitar it's made things more difficult for me. But I learned how to play 3 or 4 songs on it now! Mind you, I KNOW how to play them...doesn't mean I can haha not physically atleast. The bones in my fingers have been hurting a lot just because I've had to stretch them out while I play. Hopefully I'll continue with it and learn how to really play just like I did with the guitar. 

Anyways. Next time. In-depth entry. I PROMISE.

I seem to be getting more and more obsessed with Ray. I luuurve him.

Song of the day: Let it be me- Ray LaMontagne

Until next time

Sary

....fawwwk

we lost.

But to make up for that:

• I'm obsessed with the new Killers album
  
• I don't have school next Tuesday
  
• Spring Break is almost here
  
• Things with my love interest are going significantly well 

:D

Song of the day: A Dustland Fairytale- The Killers

Until next time

Sary

sick nasty

ugh, i had a whole long entry planned out, but it's half past midnight and i just really don't have the energy to go into a whole exposition. instead i'll leave you with an update of my nasty arm, and a new song on the page. I found a SICK version of "Swallowed in the Sea" live. 

It's my favorite Coldplay song, if you can believe it, which is saying a lot. 

COSTA RICA VS. MEXICO TOMORROW IN AZTECA STADIUM. Holy shiiiiiit. If you don't know, Azteca stadium is one of the largest in Mexico and only one country has EVER beaten Mexico there...guess who? :D

The last time we played there was about 9 years ago and it was seriously historic. Here's hoping that we can catch lightning in a bottle twice. I'll let you know who won tomorrow!

Song of the day: Algo esta Cambiando- Julieta Venegas

Until next time

Sary

burrrn baby burn

I burned my arm last week. It's so gross. Like, the skin lifted up and it's all burnt and....yeah it's just gross. I'd say second degree burn definitely. I won't tell you exactly how I got it but let's just say I made a huge mess in the kitchen haha.

Last week I went to the mall with Moritz, which I guess has become like our routine now haha. He has Tuesdays off and he picks me up to go eat at the mall which is literally across the street. We usually just walk around after and make fun of all the people but last week I got a sweet protector for my iPod and then I helped him pick out some jeans. It's really nice to be getting close to him again. We seriously used to be inseperable when we were kids...and then he turned 13 and became a total jerk haha. And I mean we still talked and everything afterwards but the bond was just gone. Then once he got over himself about a year ago things started to get back to the way they used to be. I'm really happy about that. He's my comorade haha.

ANYWAYS, my mom went to the beach yesterday to visit my grandpa who's sick and she didn't want to leave me alone all weekend so I'm going up to my aunt's house today for the whole weekend. I love it up there. And with the weather being so nice as it has been in the past week, it's gonna be beautiful up in the mountains.

I made a new friend yesterday! His name is Dario and...he's gay! It's so funny because I thought he was sooo hot the first time I met him a few months ago. But I also thought he was kinda standoff-ish and probably had a like a million girlfriends because he was surrounded by girls all the time hahah. And then yesterday he was telling my friend and I about all the trouble he's having with his "partner" and...DING DING DING! A lightning bulb went off in my head haha. But it's weird because when I made that assumption about him at first, I wouldn't give him the time of day, and then when I found out he was gay, we couldn't stop talking to each other! haha. And I was giving him advice and stuff about what to do in his situation and blah blah blah. And then it hit me, the only reason you're talking to this guy is the judgement you made about him was wrong. All of a sudden now, because he's not the player you thought he was, you think he's a really great guy...

....and then I realized how many stupid times I judge people before I even know them. Now I always said that I'm a good judge of character, which I am. I think it's fine to judge someone, to judge who they are. It's the actions you take as a result of that that are not okay. Becuase I thought this guy was a player, it was a really big turn off and I was probably really rude to him. THAT is what is wrong. It's not your judgement, it's the behavior that you execute after the judgement. You see what I'm saying? Maybe not....

But do you think judgement is right? How many times have you judged a person without knowing them? How many times have you been wrong about a judgement? How many times have you acted accordingly? Talk to meh.

Song of the day: Nessun Dorma- Placido Domingo

Until next time
Sary

big step

Today was a big step in my personal life. I'm really happy about that right now :)

Ahhh so. I think this blog deserves a lengthy, in depth entry for the month of March. It has been neglected recently, and for that I'm sorry. 

These last few weeks that the blog has gone without updates for the most part have been pretty awesome. I mean apart from school and two major projects that I had to turn in (which by the way I think I'm going to get a bad grade on) life has been pretty good. I've been hanging out with Moritz a lot more, now that Minor's back that crazy fool wants to go out every weekend. We saw Watchmen together....so tight! I think I was the only one who liked it haha. I mean, it definitely had room for improvement but the themes of the movie were what really scored the big points for me. It's one of those movies that you find yourself thinking about days after you watch it, and it really makes you think about our world today and the human condition. Any movie that does that, is great by my standards. 

Apart from hanging out with them, I've been meeting a lot more people and just hanging out with the rest of my family. They are seriously the bomb. I look forward to going to my grandparent's house if you can believe that, just because I laugh my butt off everytime I go. They're in their late 70's but I enjoy hanging out with them as much as I do my best friends. Anywho. 

I realized the other day out of the blue, that it's finally sunk in for me: I am living in Costa Rica. And it only took 6 months for me to realize it haha! I guess subconsciously I always thought I was going home, just because it was what I was used to...come to Costa Rica for a month, get on a plane, head home. But now that it's been 6 months already since I got here I think I'm getting used to the idea. I feel a lot better now in my own skin... still miss California like crazy though. Speaking of which, I don't think I'll be able to go in May. It's either that or December and I'd much rather wait until December which is my favorite time of the year. Definitely not the same in Costa Rica. 

The last thing that's on my mind is that a dear old friend recently sent me a message telling me how the pursuit of my dream in the film industry inspires her.... words really can't describe how that makes me feel. I mean, I get my motivation and inspiration from various sources (see that little list to the right?) haha. But seriously I mean, all these people inspire me to do more with my life, to question everything I see, to grow as a person. What they have done for me is indescribable. And to know that because of them, through my own actions, that I have inspired someone else is incredible. I'm just pursuing what I love because I have to...it's as simple as that really. I know that I won't be happy in life if I don't do the one thing that gives me more joy than anything else. I'm just doing my own thing really :P But the fact that I can give someone else the same type of inspiration that these people give me means so much. Thank you. 

What about you? Who/what inspires you? Where do you get your motivation from? Why do you do the things you do. I'd like to know really.

Song of the day: Jolene- Ray LaMontagne

Until next time

Sary

lazy afternoon

March has been a lame month for blogging. I'm sorry. 

But I will say that I am alive and well, and being infatuated with someone never felt so nice :)

Song of the day: Jolene- Ray LaMontagne

Until next time

Sary

oh crap

it's been a while! It's already March 7th and I still haven't written an entry for march :/

So I just got back from school, I was supposed to meet some classmates for a project and NONE of them showed up. Can I have those two hours of my life back please? Gosh, and the worst part is that I had to get up early for nothing! So I'm kinda pissed...

...well after my last entry, I've been since  planning my escape. I feel like Natalie Portman in "Anywhere But Here". Great movie, if you haven't watched it I recommend it. Anyways, towards the end of the movie her mom expects her to stay with her after high school, but Natalie's character is secretly planning to go to college on the other side of the country....basically, her mom gets really pissed haha. But I can definitely relate to that. I've got a pretty basic plan right now, which I will share next time.

But inspiration has resurfaced in my life :) I love being inspired. It makes me feel alive, like I have a purpose. 

My uncle flew in from Cali on thursday! It's so good to see him. We're having like a family reunion/party tonight, I'm so excited. Apart from the crapload of homework I have, life is pretty good right now. 

Jeff, I missed you.

Song of the day: Last Goodbye- Jeff Buckley

Until next time

Sary

the jerkoffs

I can't believe I was so judgmental about this movie before I watched it! I got to see it courtesy of our new video store we subscribed to. AMAZING soundtrack, but I guess that was pretty much a given :)

More in depth posts that require serious thinking next time.

Song of the day: Last Words- The Real Tuesday Weld

Until next time

Sary