How far is heaven?

I have one bar on my internet connection!! Aaah! It's gonna go any second now so I'll try to type this as fast as I can. Before I vent about my religious point of view, I just thought I'd tell you I'm two pounds lighter. I guess you lose the most in the first week. But it's a work in progress. The diet lasts two months so I didn't expect to lose all the weight I wanted immediately. I just try and take it one day at a time. 

Ok so, my topic for today. By the way, I realize that 3 people at most read my blog so it's not like we can go into a religious debate here, but I just wanted to let you know what my views about heaven are because I haven't really found a forum (i don't mean an internet forum. you know what i mean though) where I can speak openly and honestly about this, so I figured this would be the perfect place. If you want to chime in, please be my guest. Okay, so. HEAVEN. 

Someone asked me if I believed in heaven the other day. I opened my mouth but no sound came out for about five seconds. I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but I just didn't know how to word it. Finally I spoke, and it went something like this: I want to believe in heaven. The idea of life after death, just the idea itself, is so audacious to me. The possibility that we might live forever just completely blows me away. Of course I want to believe that something so magnificent can exist. However, do I know that heaven exists? No. I don't know if heaven exists. Why? Because I haven't seen it. No one has come back from the dead and told me about it. Now, I'm not one of those pessimistic people who say " If I can see it and I can touch it, then it's real". Those people are pathetic. There are billions of things in the universe that exist whether we believe in them or not. There are billions of things that exist in the universe in which we can't even begin to fathom their existence. It doesn't mean they don't exist. Conversely, there are millions of things that don't exist, regardless of our beliefs. They just don't. Heaven falls into this category of things that do or do not exist. It may or may not exist. I simply don't know. And that is my answer. Of course it's possible that it can exist, just as easily as it can't. Am I getting my point across? Now, this doesn't mean I'm agnostic, because I believe in God. 

Let me rephrase that. I believe in a benevolent force that binds, connects, and rules every living thing in this universe. Am I going to put a name on it? No. I don't have to. But just for other's people sake, when they ask me, "Do you believe in God?" I don't want to say, " I believe in the benevolent force that binds, connects, and rules everything." Instead, to make it easier for everyone, I just say "God". 

So to sum things up, I don't know if heaven exists, but I'd like to believe that it does. And I try to not think about too much in my everyday life. Heaven is not a place, it's a destination. In other words, it's not something that people just look at, people actually want to get into heaven. And what do they do to get into heaven? They go to church, feed the poor, and do general good deeds. I recently just realized that that entire act is such a juxtaposition. Supposedly, you're doing good for the sake of others right? But really, it's just to save your own ass from going to hell. So there is nothing noble about these "noble acts" you commit is there? That's why I don't try to think about heaven too much. Because if I do something good for someone, I want it to be for the mere fact that it is the right thing to do. Period, end of story. That's why I don't agree with Christianity and a lot of other religious groups. But that's another entry. I don't really want to get into religion, seeing as how this is one of my longest posts!

But wow, it feels amazing to get it all off my chest. Whooooooo. I said everything I wanted to say. So please, if you're reading this, whoever you are, and you have an opinion, talk to me. 

Song of the day: Just for now- Imogen Heap

Until next time

Sary

Mr. Macintosh

This is my first entry on the Mac. Words can't express how much i love it, which is completely hypocritical, given my hatred of consumerism. But you love what you love. 

Certain events in my life have led me to decide that i want to change this blog in many ways. From now on, we're gonna be a little more philosophical if you don't mind, because i'm really sick of just reciting what i did on a particular day. I mean, who cares? I lived it, it's done, move on. And considering the fact that I'm leaving in 11 days and about to embark on an adventure that i have NO IDEA of the outcome, I think it's time to grow up and take a look at the world around me. It's time to understand why things are the way that they are, why people are a certain way, what drives us as a race, what drives me, how do i get rid of my inadequacies, how do i become the best possible version of ME?

I hate to say it, but there's more to life than Macs ( even though they're awesome), and cars, and college, and parties, and television, and superficial friends, and everything else that at the end of our lives, will not matter at all. There's an entire list of goals that I have set for myself now, and maybe if i get them all out on here, it will make the tasks a little bit easier. So that's all for now. 

On a final note (reverting back to the old blog) I saw the Disneyland fireworks on Saturday for the last time. I just sat down on some steps in the middle of Anaheim and watched for 15 minutes....

....check. 

Song of the day: Passenger Seat- Death Cab for Cutie

Until next time

Sary

it's just hair

it'll grow back. not that i really want it to, because i luuuurve it. i went to the salon today in the morning and cut like 4 or 5 inches off? and i got some bangs. sweeeeeeeet.

since this is my blogger, and i'm allowed to write whatever i want to write regardless of how embarrassing it might be, i guess i'll tell you that i have started a weight-loss journey. I really just want to shed some extra uncomfortable pounds and get nice for Costa Rica. I'm on this high-protein, no sugar diet where i can only eat 20 grams of carbs per day. I started on Monday, and let me tell you, the first two days were freaking tough. Yesterday was the worst. I was depressed and had no energy at all. I guess I was having a withdrawal. I gotta say though, if that was a "can't eat whatever i want" withdrawal, I can't imagine how a cocaine or meth withdrawal feels. I mean, I felt like shit yesterday only because I couldn't have any sugar. Imagine how all those other people feel when they're in rehab...

Anyways, I woke up today and fortunately I feel great! It's like the " 3 Day Hump" that Morgan Spurlock talks about in "Super Size Me". If you can go three days without smoking, then you're good. If you can go three days without sugar then you're good. haha. So I was reading the book that I bought for the diet and this one lady lost 16 pounds in one week! And it looks like I'm right on track because i've lost 5 pounds in the last two days. Hopefully I can keep it up till the 29th, save one special day I'm planning with Casey and Chris where I don't want to think about anything, especially keeping my diet.

So that's the skinny on me for now..........HA! look at that! get it? skinny? eh, nevermind.

Song of the day: Who Wants to live Forever- Queen

Until next time
Sary

p.s. I'll keep updating so you can go along on this weight loss journey with me!

what to write?

i really can't think of anything important to write, except that the opening ceremony for the Olympics made me cry, and I still can't believe that Bernie Mac died!

The creepy thing is though, the very night before I looked him up on youtube and told my dad to watch him because he was hilarious. And then he died a few hours later. Now you might think I'm crazy, but I've had this theory ever since I was a kid that I make all these famous people die. I'm not even kidding. When I was seven, I saw Princess Diana on television, and obviously I knew how famous and important she was. And I thought, what would happen if she died? Like how big would it be in the news and stuff?

A few weeks later SHE DIED. I still blame myself for that death. Then a few years later, I was thinking, "Gosh, no one famous has died in a while. I want someone to die soon." I know, I know, it sounds HORRRRRIBLE. But I was a kid. It's still an awful thing to say. Low and behold a few days later, Frank Sinatra died. That's happened to me several times now with a lot of other celebrities. And just a few days ago B. Mac died. I know I didn't actually say I wish he died but I always have some kind of connection to them before they die, whether I see them on TV or think about them a lot oddly right before they die, or actually say it. I don't know. It's just another factor to add to the theory that I'm part psychic. But more on that theory some other time.

In the mean time, the mac? Pretty much in the bag, baby.

Song of the day: Cath...- Death Cab for Cutie

Until next time

Sary

my departure

As of three days ago, I am officially leaving for Costa Rica on August 29th. That's about, 5 months before I originally intended. But truth be told, I'm not DOING anything here. I could be spending my time going over my spanish, hanging out with my cousins, and making bank at work, but instead I'm sitting on the couch all day, watching Jon and Kate plus 8. I know it's totally lame.

I'm glad I have a set date though, because now I can get all my shit together and do the things that i've been putting off all summer. In about three weeks time, I'll be hitting the road with nothing but a suitcase in one hand, and my guitar in the other (there's no way in hell i'm going 5 months without playing) and I almost forgot, with my new laptop. Dad wants to get me a Dell, but hopefully I can persuade him onto the darkside and get him to buy me a Mac. And I know there's no way of saying that previous sentence without sounding REALLY stuck up, so back off.

Also, there is something that i've been wanting to say for a while now, and I figure that this is the best place to say it. Ready?

FUCK YOU, JONAS BROTHERS.

All of you sound like girls you little pussies. Fuck you, and your fucking teeny-bopper fan base. I fucking hate you. hahahahahahahhaha.

no, i really do though.

Song of the day: Untitled- Northern

Until next time

Sary

well here it is

for as long as i can remember, all i have wanted to do is be a filmmaker. i had a set plan down to the most minute detail as to how i was going to make it happen. and now that plan is thrown out the window. i know that i am the one who agreed to leave, and there are so many positive things that will come from living in costa rica. but i can't help feeling that i am making the biggest mistake of my life.

i say this because my entire life i have heard to aim high and follow your dreams. and what i am doing right now is the opposite. i have heard countless adults say that they gave up their dream and regretted it because their entire life might have been different. i'm only 18 and i can already see myself being one of those adults later on in my life. the most depressing part is that when i was younger i told myself i would never be one of those people.

lately i've been trying to snap myself out of this realization: that almost no one makes it in the business, it's way too much hard work, it's one of the most expensive careers in term of tuition, and blah blah blah. but i know that if i don't atleast try, i'll spend the rest of my life saying "What if." It would suck after all this time of wanting to be a director if it never happened for me. But the only thing that would suck more than that is if i didn't even take the chance to try and see what the experience was like.

and on the other side of the dime, there's the life that awaits me in costa rica. i have my family there. i have my friends there. i have a lifestyle that is a million times better than the one here in california. i have more freedom. i have a lifetime of wonderful memories waiting to be made. but what i don't have is following a career that i am passionate about. to be honest, i'm not really looking forward to starting school in january because i'll be studying something that KINDA interests me. and it's what i have to settle for because it's the only profession that i'm interested in and makes a lot of money. i have been told by EVERYONE in my family to pick something that has a good annual income. So....psychology? not a chance. Human resources? not a chance. And filmmaking? At the bottom of the barrel. Filmmaking is quite possibly the lowest paying job in Costa Rica, not to mention the hardest job to get. And the funny thing is, before i told myself i would never settle for something i wasn't passionate about just because the pay was better. and that's exactly what i'm doing.

So. To sum it up:

- I want to leave California

- In Costa Rica, I'll have my friends, family, different lifestyle, etc.

- However, I will have to settle for a career that doesn't interest me that much

- In California, filmmaking is offered almost everywhere and L.A. is pretty much the Mecca of cinema

- However, I will be alone, with no friends or family and there is no way i could pay for school.

What......

the hell.......

should i do.......

Well, while you and i think about it, I should tell you that there was an earthquake today! You probably felt it too, whoever you are. And I think it's a sign that i should make up my mind right now.

Song of the day: Return to Innocence- Enigma

Until next time

Sary

what has happened

here is my life in a nutshell since i last wrote.

- have become addicted to Gran Turismo 3
- have read almost every book in my library
- have gone to the movies 4 times in a row, back to back
- realized that Kristin Kreuk will be at Comic- Con tomorrow signing autographs
- kicking myself in the butt for not buying Comic- Con tickets
- sulking about missing Coldplay
- have had a hard time figuring out what i'm going to do for the rest of my life
- am much much closer to finding out the meaning of life (well, my life anyway).

There's a whole dilemma going on inside my head right now. It's so bad it keeps me up late at night, tossing and turning, and I find myself going to bed at 4 in the morning because I'm too busy thinking about it. But it just doesn't feel right to share or explain right now, so I will leave it until the next entry. I promise I will say what it is and why it's been bothering me.

But today is a beautiful day. I'm going out to lunch in a few, and hopefully going to the US Open tomorrow with Kelso. Haha, maybe then I will be able to think about the fact that Kristin Kreuk and the rest of the Smallville panel at Comic- Con are on the same coast line, two hours south, and it will lift my spirits up.

Song of the day: Dream Girl- Dave Matthews Band

Until next time
Sary

diminishing

i had to say that i finished the sixth Harry Potter book (finally!) in two days. now i can't wait to read the last one.

anyways, i have recently come to terms with the fact that saying goodbye to this place and these people in November (hopefully) won't be as hard as I thought, save one person.....


....YUP.

and in thinking a lot about my life recently, here's a little insight into what my life would be if it was a movie. i love these things.


Opening Credits: Name- Goo Goo Dolls

Birth: American Beauty- Thomas Newman

Waking Up: Blackbird- The Beatles

First Day At School: Linger- Cranberries

High School: Let Me Love You- Mario

Fight Song: Cemeteries of London- Coldplay

First Love: 1,2,3,4- Feist

Breaking Up: Save Me- Remy Zero (haha um okay?)

Prom: Daylight- Coldplay

Losing your Virginity: 23- Jimmy Eat World

College: Strawberry Fields- Jim Sturgess

Life: Open Wide- Future of Forestry

Mental Breakdown: Signs of love- Moby

Driving: Pump it- Black Eyed Peas

Flashback: Talk- Coldplay

Meeting The One: I am snow- Sol Seppy

Getting back together: Your Song- Elton John

Wedding: New Sensation- INXS (HA)

Birth of Child: Just let go- Mae

Midlife Crisis: You only live once- The Strokes

Old Age: Maps- The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Death Scene: Are you gonna go my way- Lenny Kravitz (cool way to check out i guess)

Funeral Song: We Illuminate- Northern (Perfect)

End Credits: Blind- Lifehouse

and there you have it. i'm gonna go spoon with Andrew now.

Song of the day: Mona Lisa- Grant Lee Phillips

Until next time
Sary

wooooooot!

i just got back from a college get-together 4th of july party watcha ma call it with Chris. So much freaking fun!

i can't believe it's been a year since i went to the Queen Mary with Chris to watch the fireworks. That is one of my favorite memories ever and tonight is pretty close up there.

Anywho, I had some much needed fun tonight and after having a little pep talk with Chris, things are definitely in perspective and I feel much better about my situation now. Haha, he's always good at calming me down when it comes to things like that. Apart from being a distraction from all the ISH in my life right now, I met a whole bunch of chill people at Choi's house (sp?) who were all really nice and funny.

And I met this guy named Tyler who is completely adorable and it's safe to say i have a new crush now haha.

To sum things up, tonight was a lifesaver. I would've definitely gone off the deep end if i hadn't gone. I was really hesitant to go, and almost ended up not going, but i am so glad i did. I am happy right now. Which is something that hasn't been happening in my life lately. YUSSSS.

Song of the day: Lost- Coldplay

Until next time
Sary

let's lighten things up

1) If you HAD to get a tattoo, where would you want it? Forearm

2) If you HAD to dye your hair a color what color would it be? a really light brown

3) If you HAD to get a piercing (THAT ISN'T YOUR EARS) what would it be? Eyebrow

4) If you HAD to change your name, what new name would you choose? Samantha. I've always loved that name.

The "WOULD YOU?" section:

1) Would you rather love one person or have many short relationships? One person

2) Would you move anywhere else if you could? OH BOY, would I.

3) If you were given the chance to go to Paris, would you go? Of course I would.

4) If you were given 10 million dollars to keep, what would you do? Spend a small percent of it, give half to charity, invest the rest.

The "LETS SAY" section:

1) Lets say you had to eat a live tarantula for $1,000: Umm, okay.

2) Lets say you could star in any movie (made or in the works) what movie? Ahh! Garden State for sure. And Deathproof.

The "OTHER STUFF" section:

1) What makes your bedroom unique? The awesome James Dean poster

2) Whats your favorite season of the year? Winter!

3) Do you like cheese? I luuurve cheese.

The "2008" section:

1) Good new years? Umm, not really. It was kinda sad.

2) Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2008? Absolutely not. It's funny It's only been what? 7 months? But I have changed a lot.

3) Anything exciting happen this year? I'm sure...

4) Have you been involved with the police this year? I have actually.

5) Are your best friends still your best friends? Good question. I'd like to know too.

6) Got any tattoos or piercings this year? Nope

7) Had a haircut yet this year? No. I'm going to chop it off next week.

8) Been in a hospital this year? Haven't stepped foot in one.

9) Lost someone you cared about this year? Um, no.

11) Been kicked out of a public place this year? No, I kicked someone out though haha.

12) Last time visiting the Library? School library, a few months ago. Public library, second grade haha.

13) What are you listening to? What AM I listening to? Public Enemy.

14) Do you like to hold hands? Ha, depends on the person.

15) Do you over analyze things? Always always always.

16) Do you have any tests or exams soon? None till next year, hopefully!

18) Coffee: Love it or hate it? Meh, who cares.

19) When you see a foggy window do you feel the need to write or draw on it? Yes, absolutely.

20) How many watches do you own? One.

21) How many jobs have you ever had? Hehe, umm, none?

22) What should you be doing? Folding laundry, walking Andrew, cleaning my room, the list goes on.

23) When was the last time you saw your father? Last night.

24) Do you currently like someone? Umm... technically speaking? Yes.

Song of the day: He Got Game- Public Enemy

Until next time
Sary

a wonderful world?

the new song pretty much sums up what i've been thinking lately; politically, environmentally, spiritually, personally, in every aspect of my life, i'm not sure if it really is a wonderful world out there. my neverending optimism has been waivering lately. if there was a word to sum up what i am, it would be "DONE".

i am done with this place, these goddamn people, i am done with any responsibility that i have or that i planned to have in the near future. everything that i wanted to do this summer is cancelled. if i could, i would leave this very second. EFF ITTTTTTTT.

and the funny thing is, i'm not freaking out about my current situation. i am surprisingly calm, but then again looks can be deceiving. i am more like a volcano right now. calm on the outside, thoughts and feelings all bottled up on the inside, and i could explode at any minute. pretty much anything can set me off right now......

Song of the day: Your Heart is an Empty Room- Death Cab for Cutie

Until next time
Sary

en español

les ganamos hijueputas! jjajaja.

bueno, hablando de otras cosas, estoy harta de esta mierda. ya se lo que habia dicho antes pero que no me jodan mas estos malparidos. coman mierda. ni se por que estoy aqui. ojala que me fuera al fin del verano. ya me quiero ir. en este mierdero no hay nada que valga la pena, ni los amigos aparentemente.

Cancion del dia: California- Rogue Wave

Hasta la proxima
Sary

thus far

my summer has been okay. i've only really gone out about two times and my mornings have consisted of watching the Euro Cup playoffs. Not that it's a bad thing. Soccer is my favorite sport and i love watching the teams duke it out for the final. The championship game is on Sunday with Germany vs. Spain. I want Spain to win, mostly because i HATE the germans, but also because of this little hottie:

RRRRRRRRRRRR hahaha. i'm sorry i just think he's the hottest guy ever and he helped Spain win the last two matches. oh, and we also have the same birthday, so it's pretty much in the bag- we're going to get married.

anywho, tonight will be the third time i've gone out this summer. I'm going to see Northern tonight with Chris's girlfriend Kelly. And by the way, Northern is possibly my favorite band next to Coldplay. I saw them two years ago at chain and they were unbelievable. The conert is in Pomona and up until a few minutes ago, i thought Pomona was pretty close but apparently it's about an hour away haha. So tonight should be fun! I can't wait till 4th of July though. I think i wrote about my experience last year, and it was the best 4th of July ever, and i have a feeling this year is going to top it.

Yeahhh i'm having a hard time ending this, so i'll just say bye now!

Song of the day: Strawberry Swing- Coldplay

Until next time
Sary

lately

i've been realizing that a lot of my recent posts have been filled with such negativity.

no.

complaining is a more adequate word. i've been going back and reading what i've written and being away for a while helped me read it with an objective point of view. considering the fact that i hate it when people complain, the fact that i have been doing just that makes me a hypocrite.

and so i have decided to make a conscious effort to not complain about my circumstances or my troubles. if something is bothering me, i'll find a way to fix it, and if not, forget it and move on with my life.

gaahhhh i had so much more to write but i am being summoned!

Until next time
Sary

milestone

i think this entry's title is very appropriate, considering that i just graduated from highschool and it's my 100th post. so it's a milestone in my life, and the life of my blogger haha. well to catch up, let's start with disneyland.

the buses got there about 45 minutes late and we didn't get there till almost ten. it was freaking hot that day, the new toy story ride opened, and 15 other schools decided to go that day too. so needless to say it wasn't so much fun. i mean, i tried my best to not be so pessimistic and did have some fun, but long lines and a burning sun is never a good combination at disneyland haha.

then yesterday was graduation. and there's much to say about that. well, first thing i did in the morning was bolt over to target and buy "viva la vida". i love every single song on there except one, which doesn't happen often with me and albums. it's simply amazing. then in the afternoon i drove myself to tustin high and i got there like 10 minutes early so parking was NOT a bitch haha. then i went into the gym to wait and it was sooo hot and sticky, everyone was pretty much miserable. then we walked out into the blazing sun and sat for about an hour listening to everyone's speeches and whatnot. and then they called our names and right after i started dancing in line, they called my name and i got my diploma. my favorite part? turning my tassel from right to left and throwing my cap up in the air. i had been waiting to do that since i was a little girl.

despite the excitement towards the end though, i felt (and i still do) numb towards everything in a way. maybe it was the fact that it hadn't really registered, or the fact that i was just completely over highschool. still, i regret that i didn't feel more emotion.

then grad night was last night. it was pretty fun for the most part, except towards the end when i was completely drained and just wanted to go home. we left dave & busters at 5ish and i got home at quarter to 6. once again, i didn't feel anything over the fact that this was the last time i would be with all the other seniors in years. i was completely apathetic to the fact that this was the last senior event, or the last time i would be driving out of the parking lot and stuff like that.

and even as i am writing this, i still don't believe that i graduated yesterday and that i'm out of highschool. i still feel like i have school tomorrow and it'll be the same routine as always: park in the junior lot, walk to zero, hate english, walk with courtney to econ, make fun of sads with lauren, book it over to math and dread it, have break with sam and kathryn, eagerly waiting for psych to start, having in depth life discussions with kelsey and jill, laugh my butt off with the entire class, and just hang around in video.

well, for lack of feeling, the nostalgia is certainly kicking in. i know it sounds cliche but the last 4 years, especially senior year, have gone by so fast. looking back, i wouldn't mind going back to a monotous day of school one last time. i know it sounds crazy, but that's how it is.

on another note, completely aside from school, i am so over one particular aspect of my life. i realized that i shouldn't have to settle for anything or anyone, i don't even care about this thing that has been bugging me for a long time, and i couldn't be leaving at a better time. in fact i wish i was leaving sooner.

Song of the day: Death and All his Friends- Coldplay

PEACE

spoke too soon

yesterday was a traumatizing event in my life. i didn't speak at all for about two hours because i was in such shock. i don't want to get in to what happened, because i'd rather just forget it ever occurred. but it is something that will stay in my mind forever, and in my family's as well. hopefully disneyland tomorrow will help me forget, but i can't help just getting flashes of what happened in my mind over and over again.

Until next time
Sary

100%

haha wow, reading that last post, i forgot how angry i was that day. in the end, everything got swept under the rug and i was forced to forget about it like i always do.

but today was/is going to be an awesome day. i got up at 8 today which i was pretty bummed about, but i went to school and took my last final. words can't describe how good it felt to bubble in the last answer of my highschool carreer. and when i started walking towards my car i saw my entire highschool experience in about 3 seconds, and the only thing i could think of was the words "I'm done." over and over again.

and if that wasn't good enough, one of my favorite songs of all time was playing on the radio and i listened to it all the way home. i just got this overwhelming feeling of accomplishment and felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

and to start off what is going to be an AWESOME summer, Jill's grad party is tonight and i'm stoked. Then Tuesday is DLAND and Wednesday is graduation! I can't believe it. Then after that i got the whole summer ahead of me. And if it's anything close to last summer, then i'll be the happiest kid in the world.

Song of the day: Your Song- Elton John

Until next time
Sary

EFFING PISSED

i am so mad/frustrated right now. i swear, i haven't been this pissed off in such a long time, like this doesn't happen very often for me.

i feel like if anyone tries to talk to me i'm going to explode right in their face. and i'm just sick and tired of my "friends' " bullshit. Seriously, get a fucking life, have some freaking dignity, and don't be so fucking inconsiderate with other people's feelings.

i can honestly say i trust no one in this fucking goddamn place.

catch a falling star

i haven't written in a week or so, due to the fact that i completely forgot.

so, the realization of graduating is finally starting to set in. next week is my last week of classes and the next few days after that are going to be TIIIIGHT.

• Senior Picnic
• Grad Party
• Disneyland
• Graduation!
• Grad Night

i laff it.

Song of the Day: The a la menthe- La Caution

Until next time
Sary

boooored

ugh this weekend was so boringggg! i really didn't do anything except mooch around the house all day. but on the other hand i guess it was good cause i've been so stressed out at school and stuff. ONLY THREE MORE WEEKS! words cannot describe my excitement.

on another note, i lurve the prom pics :)

Song of the day: Forever- Sol Seppy

Until next time

Sary

it wasn't me!

my title is totally random. i don't know, it was just the first thing i thought of. it's a recurring quote from one of my favorite movies. anyways, the heatwave broke, but now we have freakin like, MONSOON weather and it poured yesterday and rained today. this weather is freaking crazy. just adds to my theory that the world will end in four years. i'm not even kidding. but trust me, that's a whollllle other entry. it's a subject i don't want to get into right now.

anywho i have ABSOLUTELY nothing else to write today. so sorry if you came here looking for some juicy piece of gossip from my life! :)

Song of the day: Sweetness Follows- R.E.M.

Until next time
Sary

the heat wave

is killing me. this is why i hate summer. well i mean, i like it because there's no school and stuff, but i hate the weather. ANYWAYS.

i've been having the weirdest dreams lately and they all seem to come true in one way or another. it's strange. it's funny too cause i've always thought that i've been psychically inclined and everyone always laughs at me. but trust me, i have the gift!

there's really not much to write about tonight. i was just bored and wanted to keep up the habit of updating. *shrug*.

let's see, what's a really cool philosophical thought that i can leave on? oh, i found this really cool quote the other day that seems to describe my view on religion to a tee. in the past year or so, i've really been questioning my thoughts and beliefs about religion, questioning if i even believed in a God or not. but i seem to have a reached a conclusion:

"Love God with all your heart, and do what you want."

Success.

Song of the day: Joker and the Thief- Wolfmother

Until next time

Sary

the list

After tomorrow, I'll have SOOO many things to look forward to. I mean, graduation and stuff go without saying obviously, but i'm talking about all the things i get to do before i leave. there's so many places for me to see, so many things for me to do that i started to make a list. I call it "The List" hahah. So yeah, basically i'm just writing down all the things i have to accomplish before i leave in December. It includes such things as:

• Eat at BJ's
• Watch the sunrise from Cowan Heights (or somewhere up there)
• Compare my handprints at Mann's Chinese Theater
• Go ghost riding

Haha, ok that last one, i GUESS i could do in Costa Rica, but that just defeats the whole purpose! Anyways, i studied as much as i could for the psych AP tomorrow, hopefully i'll do well on it. Only 22 more days of school left. Holy sheeeeit. I cannot wait. Honestly, the thing that i'm looking forward to the most is throwing my cap up in the air. That will seriously be a defining moment in my life.

I don't know, i guess all this joy and enthustiasticness stems from the fact that i saw "Into the Wild" a few nights ago, and has changed my outlook on many things in my life. So right about.......NOW......things are looking pretty good.

:)

Song of the day: Somewhere Only We Know- Keane

Until next time

Sary

Viva la Vida

ok, so i've only downloaded two tracks from Coldplay's new album (legally, thank you very much!) and i can already tell it's freaking AWESOME. and they announced their US tour dates today! they're not playing in southern california, which sucks, but i think the closest place is Vegas or Glendale.

Who's down???

Song of the Day: Viva la vida- Coldplay

Until next time
Sary

legal beagle

it is my 18th birthday today. it's so surreal. it doesn't even feel like it. i know i said i wasn't really excited for it, but last night got me so amped up for today. haha, trust me, that doesn't mean i'm happy about getting older.

but last night was so much fun! THANK GOD. after 4 years of thinking about prom, i was scared it wouldn't live up to my expectations, but i had so much fun. i'm glad it wasn't a total disaster. and i'm so glad i got to share it with chris and casey! that was just the cherry on top of it all. i mean, it was pretty much granted that i would have a good time with those two.

on another note, i OWNED at rock n bowl last night.....by two points hahaha. but yes, overall last night was pretty much perfect, and hopefully today will be awesome as well. it's so weird to think i've been alive for 18 years.....

now i can buy porn!! yeahhhh!!! hahahhaha

Song of the day: You give me something- James Morrison

Until next time
Sary

depressed?

smallville was meh tonight. i can't wait till the finale though. and i have a feeling next year is going to suck big time.

so my birthday is on sunday, and i'm not excited about it at all. what's wrong with me?! it's my freaking 18th birthday, i should be ecstatic. It's funny but what my uncle said to me on my 15th birthday is definitely ringing true: "Sary, after your 15th birthday, the years go by like that *snaps fingers*" haha.

i know it's pathetic and i have my whole life ahead of me, but 18 just sounds SOOOO OOLLDD! if it were up to me, i'd stay a kid forever. it's interesting because we were talking about credit today in econ, and it hit me that adulthood focuses sooo much on money, and mortgages, and bad credit, and payments and bullshit. it's no wonder people just fade away when they get older because they spend every waking moment of their life worrying about next month's paycheck. and living in this place certainly lends itself to that.

and you know, i see my parents and see their situation, and their life has become just that. it's all about material things and stress, and there's never enough time to just enjoy being alive, and that's not a life at all. and that's exactly what i dont' want to become. i guess that's one of the reason's why i didn't really hesitate to move, because life is so different there. it's just like a completely different world.

so i don't know, with AP's, cancelling my admission, knowing that i'm leaving in 7 months, and realizing that growing up means having to face the fact that you get more and more detached from living, maybe the reason why i'm not looking forward to my birthday is because it could not have come at a worst time.

Song of the day: Meaning- Gavin Degraw

Until next time
Sary

May 14th

i'm in the homestretch right now. and May 14th is THE day- the day when i can just cruise for the rest of the year and not be so friggin stressed outtttt. just thought i'd share that with you.

and i hope what i found out today isn't true....

Song of the day: From Where You Are- Lifehouse

Until next time
Sary

lame!

that word up there describes me two years ago.

i was reading some of the first entries i ever wrote in this thing and GOD was i a dweeb! haha. but it kinda got me feeling nostalgic too. it's amazing how things can change so drastically, how friends come and go. haha, and i'm sure i'll find myself reading this two years from now thinking how lame i was for thinking i was lame two years ago...

....or something.

Song of the day: Saturday- Josh Rouse

Until next time
Sary

prommm

blech i'm so tired.

ok so prom is in 8 days. and to be honest it's weird to even say that. for as long as i can remember i have always wondered what my senior prom is going to be like. and now it's here and...it's not that great haha. i mean don't get me wrong, i'm super excited and i can't wait to go find my dress and everything but after fantasizing about it for so long, i just don't think it can live up to my expectations. but who knows? time will tell.

today was fun, i spent all afternoon prom dress shopping with casey. oh, and i have just become a fan of chik-fil-a. i've been its sworn enemy for the past 6 years and today i had some chicken nuggets and a shake. DELICIOUS.

anyways, it's so nice to have this thing back. i say that as if it went somewhere and i lost it or something, when really it was my own reluctancy that kept me from writing for the past four months. but yeah, it's nice to look forward to writing each day. i luuurve it.

Song of the day: Rebellion Lies- Arcade Fire

Until next time

Sary

i know

the last time i wrote was last year.

but forget it. forget last year, forget previous entries, forget previous thoughts, forget plans, forget everything. i won't even acknowledge what i wrote all those months ago because i honestly feel like a new person. i don't know why, i don't know how, but i have a whole new appreciation for life, for my home, and my memories.

maybe it was the fact that everything i had planned since i was 12 years old, everything i swore would come to pass....will not. i mean maybe it will someday, but this huge decision will definitely push all my plans back a few years. for the first time, i'm deciding not to be so sensible and anal. i'm saying "to hell with life" and letting things unfold by themselves.

this is going to be a whole new adventure for me, and i have no idea what to expect. i'm reluctant, i'm sad, but at the same time i am so excited for the things that wait for me. and who knows? maybe i'll find what i'm looking for. maybe the last six years of planning were a complete waste, and the things that make me happy were under my nose all along.

because of all this, i decided that i won't waste a single minute of the time i have left. in the next 8 months, i'll do everything i have never done, and the things i have done, i'll do them one last time. i'll soak in everything california has to offer. but the more i think about it, the more i know that i'll miss this place like crazy.

if you haven't figured it out already, i'm moving to Costa Rica in December.

Song of the day (oh how i missed you): The Great Salt Lake- Band of Horses

Until next time
Sary

wow

good GOD it's been such a long time....i apologize.

many a thing has happened in the last two months, but it's more than i care to write about. you know, it's winding down to the new year and i pretty much feel the same as i did last year. how fucking sad is that? granted things have definitely changed, for the better IMO, but i still feel like there is something lacking in my life. i know exactly what it is too.

so, this year i decided to actually MAKE a new year's resolution as opposed to last time when i didn't, because um....well that didn't work out did it? and i have a strong feeling that i will accomplish it this time. i've wasted so much time being unhappy and not doing anything about it. i'm sick of feeling the same at the end of every year and not growing as a person. i turn 18 in five months, and it's time i get my shit together.

i'll write again tomorrow for some final thoughts about this past year, but for now, just let me sulk in my sadness one more fucking time.

Song of the day: Cancelling Christmas- Michelle Featherstone

Until next time
Sary

happy birthday

Something weird happened last night. I've been a Jeff Buckley fan for quite awhile now. And it's weird but I have this thing where I'll get really into him for about a week, i mean, i'll listen to every single song on his albums on repeat for days, look up all his videos on youtube and stuff, and then all the excitement kinda disappears until the next time i get obsessed. Not that I ever "get over him" i mean, i listen to his music all the time, it's just that every so often i get into a stage where EVERYTHING I DO IS ABOUT JEFF.

Up until last night, i hadn't had a obsession session for a while. So when i got back home from dinner, out of nowhere i took out my guitar and started playing his songs. And i played every single track from both of his albums all night. And then i found 2 interviews on youtube that i had never seen before and they were AMAZING. (check my myspace.) And i sat here in my room for about 4 hours just completely absorbed in everything Jeff. And not to sound weird but this was the biggest "obsession session" i think i've ever had. So about 5 minutes ago, i go onto his official website and clink on a link that said "birthday celebrations".

Turns out that last night was his birthday. He would be 41 today.

And i've been sitting here just kind of taking everything in. Now i admit i am a bit superstitious and believe in this whole karma universal power thing, but how weird is it that the biggest JB obession session that i've ever had in my life was last night, on his birthday??

I don't know, leave it to me to over-analyze this thing. But i think it's too much of a coincidence.

Happy Birthday Jeff. Wherever you are.

Until next time

Sary

senior munch

was freaking awesome. i looked like an authentic hippie man. and i kinda wish i had done the hypnotism thing now. it was HILARIOUS. anyways, they're making me go back to 4th which is fucking ridiculous cause i only have to stay for an hour and then come back home. pshh whatever. i'll post some new pics up later, if i have the chance.

Song of the day: Strawberry Fields- Jim Sturgess

Until next time
Sary

show me show me show me

BASICALLY, last week:

i went to disneyland. it was amazing.

this week:

i'm not so stressed about college apps anymore.

senior munch is tomorrow. dressing up as a hippie!!

and i really think someone, well two people, should dress up as gonorrhea and klamidya (sp?). however the hell you dress up like that.

and i've had this blogger thing officially for a year now. it's amazing to look back on my halloween post from last year and compare it to this one..... things have definitely changed. but definitely changed for the better.

Song of the day: Somebody to love- Queen

Until next time

Sary

milwaukee (sp?)

last night was fun.

i was the designated driver at happy hour at el torito. drunk mom + drunk aunt+ two other drunk women= how did i get myself into this situation. haha.

oh i and saw felipe......

yep.

then i picked lauren up and we went to kelso's party. we only stayed for 5 minutes and after we went around on the town. well actually, it was around 2 sq. miles of foothill over and over. haha. "i guess we both saw our ex boyfriends tonight!" ehhhhhehehe. but it was still fun. now i'm starving and about to start my college apps. fuckin tight yo.

Song of the day: Rocket Man- Elton John

Until next time
Sary

i called it

did i not? haha told youuuu.

i've notice that i always speak to a proverbial you in my entries, which doesn't make sense because it's not like anyone ever reads this thing. except casey every once in a while....only because i tell her to. haha.

this is sad.

this weekend should be alright. definitely looking forward to d-land next weekend. and smallville's on tonight. so apart from some things that should be #1 on my top priorities list (which they are not) life's pretty good right now.

Song of the day: For What it's Worth- Buffalo Springfield

Until next time
Sary

six times rehearsed

this weekend pretty much sucked.

don't you love it when people don't call you back?
me neither.

Song of the day: To Sheila- Northern

Until next time
Sary

stop, tell me what's that sound?

nothing's really happened in the past week.

except that i have to pay like 58 checks tomorrow at the student store. and i've been waiting for this episode of smallville for about 4 months nowwww.

i think i'm gonna be a hippie for senior munch.

i've been cursing a lot lately. it makes me feel good for some reason :/


oh and um i'd like to congradulate all those people who become a myspace statistic. really. you just deserve a round of applause.

....GIVE ME A FUCKIN BREAK AND GET OVER YOURSELF.

Song of the day: He Got Game- Public Enemy

Until next time
Sary

college applications

are ruining my life.

a river flows through here

Welllll this week is gonna SUCK. i hate it when there's nothing to look forward to during the week, with the exception of the weekend. i mean, the only thing i guess would be smallville on thursday, but even that one's gonna be boring.

college apps are my biggest worry right now. there's so much shit to do, it's not even funny. plus the crapload of presentations i have to work on. fuuuuuuuuuuck.

so there's this thing. this thing that has been bothering me for almost a year now. and i am happy to say that it is completely out of my mind. i don't even waste my fucking time on it anymore. karma's a bitch. and i'll leave it up to her.

well that's all for today. on a departing note, i'll say this. i have a new obsession with River Phoenix.

Song of the Day: Sober- Kelly Clarkson

Until next time

Sary

dizzy dizzy

it's a 3 day weekend!!! thank god.

it's gonna be very very busy though, with homework and fun in equal proportion.

but i'm taking today off. i always do. i mean, the first day of the weekend. it's good, i recommend it.

i've been thinking about it lately and this year has gone by so incredibly fast. i mean, it's almost 2008. i remember new years 07 as if it were yesterday. i look back on the things that happened around this time of year and it seems like it's been way shorter than that. haha it's funny to think that december is coming up.

December. The month where it all started to go downhill.....




......DON'T YOU LOVE TACO BELL? i think we should all go there to eat after school. it would certainly allow for some fun times.

ahem.

Song of the day: 1,2,3,4- Feist

Until next time
Sary

across the universe

for the most part, was amazing. go watch it.

p.s. i love the weather right now.

Song of the day: Across the universe soundtrack

Until next time

Sary

it occurred to me

this has been the best weekend in a looooong time for me. i finally finally finally got my license on friday, after doing well on ALL my tests, i have no homework, and lauren and i are going out today. thank the lord.

and this is the most beautiful morning i've seen in california. pretty much.

ge' some, ge' some!!!

Song of the day: The First Time- U2

Until next time

Sary

so....

.... school this year is surprisingly less stressful than i thought it would be. all my classes are pretty chill. even english which i thought was gonna kill me. so i'm pretty excited about that.

yesterday i went to jack in the box and saw 7 people from foothill. so that was nice and awkward!

i don't know, pretty lame entry. i'm just writing for the hell of it. oh, i changed my myspace a little. i had that layout for quite some time and i realized that when i made it, i did it in a way so that people would think i was "cool". haha TOTALLY lame i know. and lately i really don't care what other people think, and i've just been doing my thing. and that's totally liberating.

yeah that's all for now.

and by the way, i CAN'T get this movie out of my head.

THE MILLION DOLLAR HOTEL. i wouldn't recommend it, only because i'm sure i'm the only person in the world who likes this movie haha. but take a chance if you want to.

Song of the Day: Last Request- Paolo Nutini

Until next time

Sary

40-26

the football game against tustin was last night.

40-26 baby!! hellz yeah revenge is sweeeeet. i saw chris last night for the first time in a month!!! and he, casey and i hung out for the first time since that glorious incident before i left for costa rica.

so i spent the night at casey's and we watched return to the blue lagoon this morning. hahaaa that movie is so funny.

and oh my gosh, i saw mr. holland last night. good lord. :D that's all i gotta say.

anyways, i just got back and now i'm off to read 1984 for four hours !!!! i gotta finish it by tomorrow. plus all the other homework that i have......ughhh

Song of the day: Somebody to love- Queen

Until next time
Sary

I'M BACK

in case you didn't know. i got back a week ago.

overall, costa rica this year was the best one of my life. and i honestly did not want to come back. in fact, if i had the chance i'd stay as long as i could.

but the fact of the matter is, my entire life is here. and unfortunately i have to wait another year until i can go back.

so this past week, i have been...... SO upset, and i don't even know why. i mean i know it's partly because of what happened to my mom, but i don't know where this other part of depression is coming from. and i didn't think i'd say this, but i really want this year to just be over.

we're talking about senior year here, i mean, what am i thinking?! i must be crazy.

school starts tomorrow...... don't even get me started on that. no words are necessary.

Until next time
Sary

Costa Rica: Day 16

well, i spent the weekend with my crazy cousins. and i can honestly say, i have never laughed so hard in my life. it wasn't just like hysterical laughing for a few minutes. we're talking a good 45 minutes of non-stop laughter.....and i haven't laughed since. haha. did you ever see that episode of south park where cartman sees the buttface people and then loses his sense of humor because the sight was beyond hysterical?

no? well that's too bad.

palo seco got pushed back, YET AGAIN, so hopefully we leave tomorrow. which sucks because we're getting hit with part of the hurricane in the caribbean right now, so the entire place is flooded.

can't wait to go home, merely because of the fact that i am gonna have myself a gooood tiiiimmeee....just wait and see....

no song of the day for the first time in a million years

Until next time
Sary

Costa Rica: Day 14

mother's day was a blast. we went up to my aunt gloria's house that overlooks the whole city and i pretty much laughed my butt off the entire time with my three crazy cousins. around 7 though, my cousin, amanda, got a text message that said they were evacuating the entire coast because of a tsunami warning.

i didn't think much of it because i thought it was a joke, but the next day i turned on the tv and they had footage of people GOING CRAZY all along the coast. i mean, it was like, armageddon x 10.

thankully though, they cancelled the tsunami warning. so tonight amanda's picking me up and we're going back up to her house again. but first we're going out to a bar or something i think. it's called ¨¨ El Espaghetti¨¨ haha. and they don't check ID's which is good because last time i asked for a smirnoff and they didn't give it to me.

anyways, sunday we leave for palo seco to visit my grandpa. we're staying for like 4 days. and i get to see minor cause he's staying there right now.....whoopee........ hahah. that should be interesting.

Song of the day: Dimelo- Enrique Iglesias

Until next time
Sary

Costa Rica: Day 11

ahem. well. a lot has happened in the past week. let me fill you in!

7 days ago we left for Arenal Volcano. It rained REALLY REALLY hard the entire way there, which is like a 3 hour drive. and then when we were driving up the mountain to get to the hotel, it stopped all of a sudden. and when we finally parked, i saw the most beautiful sunset i've ever seen in my life. and that the place we stayed was the prettiest place i have ever seen in my life. let me try and describe it:

the hotel is on a mountain top, it's right in front of the volcano and the lagoon. so if you're looking north, the volcano is northeast and the lagoon is northwest. and the coolest thing is, the volcano is constantly active. you can kinda see the lava coming down during the day, but at night you see it better because it's dark. and our hotel room happened to be facing the volcano so i fell asleep watching the red hot lava coming down the mountain.

then the next day i did the canopy tour....honestly, the best experience of my life. and the pain afterwards was definitely worth it. so the tour was three hours long. the first 20 minutes you ride horseback up the mountain, then you get to the stables, get geared up and it's a 15 minute hike to the first platform. then they connect you to the zipline, and off you go.

it's hard to describe but you really do feel like a bird.... with a harness strapped around your crotch haha. so it's 9 different platforms, the longest one is a quarter of a mile long, and the fastest one goes atleast 45 miles per hour. and you can see allll the animals and the entire forest when you zip by. definitely not the last time i'm doing that.

we left the day after and the following day, friday, i went to moritz's house and stayed for the weekend. it was fun for the most part. we went to this bar and played pool for a while with moritz, silvia, johnathan, christian, and el júpon. haha goood times.

and i got back home yesterday and sat around all of today for some much needed rest. it's mother's day tomorrow here in costa so we're all going up to my aunt gloria's house and celebrating it there. she has the coolest house with the sickest view of all of san jose. i want to spend the night, we'll see. then sunday i'm leaving for palo seco to go see my grandpa and spend a few days at the beach house. so far, this has been THE BEST costa rica vacation i've had. even better than last year...haha (sarcasm)GO FIGURE!! (/sarcasm)

but of course, i'm counting the days till i get back. as much fun as this is, i miss my toad and my misster haha. a beach day is definitely required when i get back. anywho, i'm off to watch some tv.

Song of the day: Waiting in Vain- Bob Marley

Until next time,
Sary

Costa Rica: Day 4

We're leaving tomorrow for a week and i don't know if i'll have time, or access, to write, so i figured i'd do it right now.

We're staying at Volcan Arenal tomorrow, maybe do some horseback riding and canopy tour, and then we have to take the ferry of death to Montezuma and we're staying at the Dolphin Hotel. after that, it's off to my grandpa's beach house for a few days and then it's back here to Pavas.

As exciting as this sounds, drama just seems to follow me wherever i go. and WE ALL KNOW which one i'm talking about. so for the fucking federal case that awaits me when i get home, i plead the 5th. in case you don't know what that means, i had nothing to do with it.

Song of the Day: Eternal Life- Jeff Buckley

Until next time
Sary

Costa Rica: Day 1

well, technically it´s day 2, but whatever. gosh, where to begin?

well let´s start with yesterday. we flew out of john wayne, landed in dallas, then flew from dallas to san jose. i gotta say, i´ve never been as scared to fly as i was yesterday. i think i had a mini panic attack. i don´t know why, but for some reason i was convinced that the plane was going to crash. i just knew it. but thank god i was wrong.

we finally got to san jose and i was greeted by that familiar scent. it just smells like costa rica. i can´t describe it, it´s something you have to smell for yourself. haha. customs were a bitch so we didn´t get out of the airport till an hour after we landed.

my grandparents, aunt and uncle picked us up and it was off to my grandparents´ house. i went to sleep at about 2 a.m. and thought there was a burglar in the house. i flipped my shit.

anyways, woke up today, had breakfast, took a shower, and went to my aunt alicia´s house. it freaking poured today, as it always does, and i was sooo excited to finally see some rain. i hung out with silvia and moritz and some of his friends came over and we played poker with our good friend smirnoff haaaaa.

and that´s pretty much it. i´m SO GLAD to be back with my family, but i miss home a lot, especially chris and casey. and andrew of course. sorry this entry wasn´t too exciting, but we´re just kinda getting settled in right now. the next few entries will be better, i promise.

Song of the day: Into the fire- Thirteen Senses

Until next time
Sary

when i was 17

god, i haven't been this drained in A LONG TIME. today, was seriously the best day of the whole summer. this is exactly what i had hoped for when school got out.

so i must say of course that it was toad's birthday today. (AW) haha. and she invited chris and i to go to her friends beach house....yeah....

pretty much? THE MOST AMAZING HOUSE I'VE EVER SEEN. it's even better than jill's! haha. well i guess ocean front property always is. the house is right on a cliff, and it's huge. plus, it has the best hot tub i've ever been in. so casey randomly called around noon and told us to come over. we got there at like, 2 i think, and it was straight in the water.

we pretty much stayed at the beach until the sun went down. and can i just say there are some hotty hots in laguna? haha. anyways, i, amazingly got in for a while. the water was pretty warm. and a seal almost ate chris and casey. HA. i got sunburnt like no other though. and i'm dead from climbing all those stairs.

anywho, we climbed in the jacuzzi for a while after. UUHHHHUHUH. it was sooooo good. highlight of the day for me. after we got out we crashed on the sofas and started to watch never been kissed but we couldn't finish.

all in all, today was awesome. and i'm glad because it's one of the last times we'll be together for awhile. why's that?

WELL. i'm leaving for costa on friday for a month pretty much. and chris might be too busy with school to hang out. gosh, it's so weird to think i won't see chris everyday at school. i was thinking about that the other day, and i was like, wait. chris doesn't go to foothill anymore! but i still have casey so.....i guess that'll do. HAHAAA

so yeah, needless to say, i'm gonna miss my toad and my misster A LOT. what am i gonna do without them? what are they gonna do without ME? hahaha.

so tomorrow i have to pack in the morning so that i can go to casey's dinner tomorrow night. it should be fun. i have to get home pretty early though because i have to get up like at 5 the next day. we have to be at the airport at 8 a.m.

and then after tomorrow that's it. i'm leaving my two best friends and california behind for 24 days. i'm getting sad just thinking about it.

speaking of being sad, we have to drop andrew off tomorrow. he's staying at our friend's house while we're gone. haha YEAH. that's gonna be a sob-a-thon, i'll tell you that right now. my poor andrew. he knows though. every year during this time he senses that we'll be gone for a while. ;lkaj;dlsfkjad. i am going to cry so hard tomorrow.

ANYWAYS.

that about concludes this entry. i don't think i'll have time to write tomorrow. so the next time i write i'll probably be at my grandparent's house in costa rica.

i'll try to update as much as i can and post some pictures too.

this is my biggest fear of all time. if, god forbid, something happens to the plane and i never make it back, i love you all, haha. and if not, then i'll see you in a month.

Song of the Day: It was a very good year- Frank Sinatra

Until next time
Sary

heat wave

i have never been so bored more than i have this past week. nobody's called me or returned my calls in about....5 days?

and someone, of course, bailed when we were supposed to hang out after not seeing each other for a month. screw that. i was PISSED.

once again, more things to add to the list of why i want to leave SO BADLY.

only six more days left.

Until next time
Sary

stuffed

i saw harry potter again last night. it was better the second time around. "the district"...... it's too early for any judgement but, it's cool i guess. the theaters are REALLY nice.

anyways just got back from my LAST BEHIND THE WHEEEEEEL. thank god. and i changed my instructor. her name is sue. she's craaaazy but she's super super nice. i liked her. way better than that nazi instructor i got last time.

for some reason lately i've been feeling really depressed. it seems like nothing can cheer me up, even hanging out with my friends, which is my favorite thing. i have NO IDEA why though. maybe i need some excitement in my life. i mean, i think the best thing i can do to get rid of this melancholy is to do something completely spontaneous and unlike sarynelli. we'll see.

16 DAYS LEFT. thank goddddd. i am so excited. and maybe leaving for a while is just what i need.

GOD IT'S HOT.

Song of the Day: Oil and Water- Incubus

Until next time
Sary

revelation?

i woke up a few minutes ago. it's gotten to that point in summer where it takes me two hours to fall asleep and i wake up late in the afternoon. gotta say, that i really don't like it for some reason.

i've decided that i'm pretty good at updating this thing. i actually surprised myself. i'm just glad that i actually kept this thing and didn't just write one or two entries and then forget about it.

it's too early to pick a song of the day

Until next time
Sary

over it

random thoughts, July 15th, 2007:

just got back from casey's. we watched, (well i did anyway) science of sleep. i understand it more and more everytime i see it. fun times at casey's today.

she and chris went to the grunion run. i wanted to go so bad! but of course, i have curfew at freakin 10:30 tonight. i'm running out of rubber bands. my mom didn't get me any today.

after 5 whole days, my ipod broke. i swear i must be bad luck or something. so i went back and exchanged it for a new one yesterday. this marks my fourth ipod. i hope to god this one will last. so far so good.

i'm starting to think more and more that the santa ana/tustin area is turning gangsta. yesterday, i saw a HARDCORE cholo fight on 17th and tustin. it was brutal. and at this very moment 5, yes 5 cop cars are parked outside my house and questioning my neighbors from across the street.

my obsession for daniel radcliffe has come back. it went away about the 7th grade and now it's back for revenge. i mean................. well, look at that.

Song of the Day: Bad Dream- Keane

Until next time

Sary

rubber bands and fireworks

quite a lot to write about today. let's see if i can remember everything that's happened in the last week and a half.

1) So last Friday, i went to the ortho, for what i thought was going to be a regular brace- tightening thing. OH NO. the lady was like, "so we're giving you rubber bands today." and i was like, "Oh shat". So she put them on, and i was like, okay this is weird. They were fine for the first few hours. But i'd say, after....5 hours? That's when i wanted to die. I'm not gonna even attempt to describe how my teeth felt. Cause i can't put it down into words. Anywho, i went to mimi's that night with my parents and who should call, but Casey Pahl? haha hey that rhymes. She invited me to go sleep over at her house and Lauren was spending the night too.

Around midnight we, of course, went on a Wallgreens run and took THE FUNNIEST pictures known to man. i think that's our signature....thing- going to Wallgreens in the middle of the night. fun times, fun times. When we came back we watched Casino Royale. don't remember much of it because i slept through most of it.

The next day, Casey, Lauren, and I went to the beach, where we met up with Lauren's boyfriend and his two friends. Might i add, this was THE HOTTEST DAY ever in my opinion, and as a result got the first sunburn of my life, on my face no less, which then started to peel. It wasn't very pretty. Anywho, those two days were pretty fun.

2) Fourth of July- best one i ever had! It was soooo much fun. Chris invited me to go with him and his dad to the queen mary to watch the fireworks. But first, we went looking for open filipino restaurants for take-out, but of course none of them were open. So we ended up going to KFC (awww yeah) and took that to see the fireworks. And for some reason, this was THE best KFC i've ever had. the fireworks show was amazing. friggin 20 minutes long!

Oh, and i want to add, without sounding weird or cheesy, that that night was the most gorgeous night of the entire summer. It was pretty hot during the day, so at night, the temperature was JUST right. The sun was setting while we were driving through downtown long beach (which is the prettiest downtown in the world, in my opinion) and when we finally got to the boat the clouds were in all different shapes and patterns and the sky was orangey-pink. And when the sun finally set, the entire bay was illuminated by the cool lights they put on the bridge and the KICK ASS street lights by the queen mary. I don't know, it was just like, straight out of a movie. It's times like those where i'm really sad i don't have anyone special to share it with..... all i had that night was chris....psh.... hahaha yost keeding.

3) Yesterday we went to Sam's to get some groceries and stuff. And wherever they sell iPods, i casually just tell my parents " oh hey, look they sell iPods over there" just to see what they say. and this time, my mom said " oh ok, we'll get you one" and i was like WHAT?! after six months of asking and asking, they finally bought it for me. And i have to say i haven't been this happy in a long time ( because of and iPod, i know it's sad). But i love ittttttt. It's all new and unscratched, and of course, i already filled it up with smallville videos hehe. But honestly it was about time.

4) and today i went to barnes & noble to get my summer reading books (blech) but i also got the last harry potter book which i have yet to read. i really forgot how much i love reading those books, i just can't put it down!

so yeah, that just pretty much sums up my week. i just had a bowl of cereal and i'm listening to "You're Beautiful"...... that is getting SO OLD. anywho, i want to hang out with the friends tomorrow cause chris leaves on tuesday. SUPER EXCITED for harry potter next week, and possibly the beach house or mammoth? we'll see. and i cannot wait for costa rica. you don't even know.

here's to an awesome summer (and it has been so far) :)

Song of the Day: When did you heart get lost- Rooney

Until next time

Sary

from a.m. to p.m

yesterday was super funnnnn.

no, it was great. extremely great. christopher picked me up at 11:45 and then we went to go pick up case for the beach. i broke in my new cowboy hat that i got at target. we stopped quickly at starbucks and casey and i got iced white chocolate mochas (YUM). then it was off to the beach.

this is a by the way, but i gotta say, the radio surprisingly did not play a song i didn't like, and it was a perfect soundtrack to our first beach day of the summer. you know when songs remind you of a certain time or something? or a memory in particular? everytime i hear those songs i'll always be reminded of this day.

anywho, we parked at the twin dolphins, and can i just say, that parking METERS suck. i hate them with a passion. we all rumaged around in our bags and managed to get almost two hours worth. so then, we finally picked a spot and chris and i got in while casey sunbathed for awhile. i only went in for like 5 minutes.

my incident at CDM has scarred me for life. i'm dead serious. my fear of the ocean increased SO MUCH after that. i really can't get past waistline in the ocean. i wish i could. but, hey what can you do. so, i came back and casey and i got a tan. then we realized our time was almost up at the parking meter and we literally spent like 20 minutes asking people for change....well chris and casey did haha.

we put in about an hour more and chris and casey went in the water while i watched :)

finally it was time to go, and when we were on the road, some guy kept yelling at us that the back door (mine) was open. i thought he was a psycho but, looking back at it he was pretty funny.

we were all starving so we came back home and stopped at taco bell, of course. somehow, i always end up eating that after i go to the beach. we went to chris's after and watched lords of dogtown. god i love that movie.

oh and the seating arrangement for the movie was a pretty funny sight. chris and i were fine until casey showed up and friggin sat in between us and then it was CRAMPED. but we all fit in snuggly. that couch is perfect for three.

anywho, we didn't get to finish dogtown because guess what was playing at century at 8:50??!! 1408!!! which was.....okay i guess. haha i spent THE ENTIRE movie with my hands over my ears. OH OH

there these two guys in front of us.....funniest thing of my life. one guy was like, "dude i'll pay you 20 bucks if you throw your cell phone at the screen. i wanna see a friggin hole in the screen though" and the other guy actually did it!! hahah. i didn't think we would. oh my gosh i was laughing so hard. too bad it was a projection screen, so the cell phone just tapped it and fell like 20 feet.

then there was this guy driving in front of us on the way home, who i think was drunk. that was pretty scary. it went from like, "haha wow, stay in your lane dude...." to " OMG HE'S GONNA CRASH INTO US!!!" i didn't really feel like staying at casey's cause it was my mom's bday today so we stopped at del and then casey and chris dropped me off.

.....and that was it!

haha i pretty much spent 12 hours with them yesterday. AWW. so, all in all, as you can see, yesterday was sooo much fun. nothing went wrong.

and so, i just got back from my mom's surprise lunch at mimi's. i'm stuffed. and i just realized this is a really long entry......but i like it when they're long........the entries i mean.

Song of the day: Twister- Remy Zero

Until next time

Sary

Stage 3

i'm in stage 3 of my cold right now, which is getting rid of all the flem and mucus and crap haha. it's pretty much just leaving my body right now so that's good. not much to update on today. just writing to write. i hope i'm better by tomorrow

Song of the day: In my life- Mark Hildreth

Until next time
Sary

scratch that

as of yesterday life was pretty good. today it SUCKS.

i have the worst cold of my life. i had the worst headache and felt faint about 2 hours ago. i seriously wanted to die. god, this always happens to me when summer starts. must be the seasonal change or something. ugh. hopefully i'll be better tomorrow for movie night though....if i'm still allowed to go. psh. haha.

screw song of the day.

Until next time
Sary

god of warrr

jeeeeze casey is such a control hog!!! i'm at casey's.....watching her play god of war. i guess she's getting back at me for playing guitar hero for half an hour. anyways, today i think i'm going to the beach with the aunt and cousins. we're taking pictures! that should be fun.

and also i think i'm going to the beach this weekend with casey and chris (??) hopefully. we'll see. life is pretty good right now.

Song of the day: Free Bird- Lynrd Skynrd

Until next time
Sary

pita chipssss

tonight shall be grand.

oh, my two cousins whom i have never met before are staying with us for a few days and can i just say, I LOVE THEM TO DEATH. They're 6 and 4. We call them Pongo and Chichi. adorable right??!!! haha. i hope chris can come over to watch smallville this week :(

Song of the Day: Better Days Will Come- Tahiti 80

Until next time,
Sary

free at last, free at last

thank god almighty, i am free at last.

school let out on thursday and i am SO relieved, you don't even know. 9 months of stupid teachers, ridiculous tests, SAT's, and retarded people are finally over. it doesn't even feel like summer, but it's so amazing to finally enjoy the weekend without dreading sunday to do all my homework. for the first time in a long time, i'm actually free of any stress, for the most part.

well let's see, on the last day of school i went to ruby's with lauren and saw ben there. oh, ben. hahah. and i was supposed to go to jill's that night for the biggest techno rave ever but i went over to casey's instead and i'm so glad i did. it was just me, her, and chris and it felt like old times again. we saw interview with a vampire and made rootbeer floats. haha to anyone who wasn't part of our group, they would've said it was lame compared to jill's party, but the time that i'm happiest is when i'm with those two.

we just made fun of the movie, made fun of each other, and flopped around on the couch for half an hour later. and honestly, i haven't had that much fun in a long time. chris said it perfectly: " i hope this just sets the tone for the rest of the summer". GOD i hope it does. I have a feeling this summer is going to be the best one. no more drama bullshit from anyone. it'll just be the three of us without a care in the world, having a good time. and plus, this HAS to be the best summer because chris is going off to college in august so we have to make the best of it. and let's just say that ties with a certain person have been officially broken off and buried. so i have a good feeling that chris's premonition will come true.

in other news, i had my behind the wheel yesterday. good god. pretty much, worst experience of my life. i fucking hate that woman. she made me cry. she started yelling at me because i didn't stop 15 seconds at a stop sign. i seriously wanted to kick her out on the freeway. FUCK HER. i hope she dies. that's how much i hate her. and i just felt like shit for the rest of the day.

but today is father's day!! and we're going to the cheesecake factory! wooo. ok i should go get ready. but here is my wish that this will be the best summer of my life......

THERE.

Song of the Day: Break so easy- Jonathan Rice

Until next time
Sary

the greatest

i deleted my last post simply for the mere fact that it didn't look too visually appealing. it felt good to have it up and get it off my chest though. REALLY GOOD.


my mood right now is.....indifferent. i don't care about anything. i don't mean this in a bad way, it's more like, i'm completely relaxed and don't have a care in the world, if that makes sense. which is funny because i've got the SAT on saturday, reflection video due on friday, and huge english project due next thursday.

this is mainly due to my huge obsession with this new song. PERFECT to drift asleep to....which is what i'll do now.

Song of the Day: The Greatest- Cat Power

Until next time,
Sary

p.s. i love you jeff, wherever you are.

phantom

smallville season finale TONIGHT.

the one rule for smallville, well actually there are many, is that season finales have to be big. and this one's no exception.

you can bet your ass i'll be back tonight to tell you what i thought about it.
*******************



ok i just saw it.

and can i just say.....


LANA IS IN THE LAUNDRY TRUCK. hahahha. i know it sounds weird but, she's in there. now i have to wait 3 months to see if i'm right.

Song of the Day- Carry on my wayward son: Kansas

Until next time
Sary








please don't let lana die.

Casey i miss you!!!

gosh darn it.

why must i love my toad so? hahahaha

ew ok awkward? yes.


come home soon toad. i have like no homework tonight thank god. i've been playing guitar hero ever since i got home. i swear, i close my eyes and all i see is that conveyor belt thing with all the notes. and then everything looks warped when i take my eyes off the screen.

anywho, i had the best baby back ribs yesterday at my uncle's house. and the whole family got together so that was fun. umm.....pretty pointless entry no?

i just wanted to write something to be consistent haha.

Song of the Day: Love will tear us apart- Joy Division

Until next time,
Sary

i'm starving

god, life would be so much easier if i had my license. and if lauren had her car haha.

so the plan for tonight, HOPEFULLY, is go to chipotle and then to a cool coffee shop in laguna. and if time allows back to my place for the wedding singer. haha god i love that movie. Caseyface is leaving tomorrow!!! i'm so sad.

and jealous. grrr. but she we're doing something in the morning that's been getting postponed for the past 3 weeks so that'll be exciting. and then i'm having brunch with her and her familia before she leaves.

and can i just say that smallville is in deep. i mean DEEEEEP. the producers are digging themselves a shithole that they won't be able to come out of...mark my words. i think by the series finale i'll be the only person watching. i hate that show sometimes.

anyways, it's good to start updating again. i missed it haha. i enjoy typing nonsense everyday. it's liberating.

Song of the day: Wish you were here- Sparklehorse

Until next time,
Sary

HOLY CRAP

a wholllllllllllllllle month without updating??! what the hell's wrong with me?

LIFE. that's what. if i thought november/december where my most hectic months, then i must've been crazy. may and june are gonna be the worst of my life.

so this month i have to turn in a senior reflections video and a music video. the reflection video, according to Mcginness, is going to set the standard for videos till the end of time. she said this is history in the making and that i was gonna be part of the most important tradition foothill's ever had.........

i have 30 seconds of 10 minutes done.
no pressure or anything.

then the music video, which i have yet to shoot or even brainstorm, is due on monday. i'm not even sure if my actors ( the ones who i have yet to choose) will be able to make it. needless to say, i can't think of, shoot, and edit a music video all on sunday. SHAT.

then, the english essay/presentation.
casey is going to be gone for two weeks in england (lucky toad.......biotch) which doesn't hurt us, but could honestly be used as time to work on our freaking analyzation and presentation which is ten minutes long. i'm gonna work on it myself but it'd obviously be better if she were there to help me.

and of course, save the worst for last.

S.A.T.

the motherfucker of all tests. the big momma. "one test to rule them all, one test to find them...."

haha ok it's not that ginormous, but still, it's pretty much going to decide if i go to college or not. which will decide if i ever get a job, which will then decide if ever get noticed enough to get married and have kids. pretty much, if i blow this thing, i will never be successful, get married, or have a happy life. holy shit, my happiness depends on this freaking test. again,

NO PRESSURE. (psh give........ me........ A BREAK)
i don't even know how to start studying for this week. i have sworn to study at least one hour each night.......opening my book might be a good start.

well looking at the bright side of things, it was my birthday last week. yup. i have been on this planet for 17 years. HOLY CRAP. honestly, i didn't want it to be my birthday. i feel so old, which sounds ridiculous but hey. now i understand what adults go through when they reach their midlife crisis. it's like, i don't know, you feel like you're just slowly decomposing hahaha. i mean, this is my last year as a child. Next year i'll be an "adult". it seems so surreal. if it were up to me, i would've stayed 16 for the rest of my life. that's like the perfect age. but i don't know. the whole subject just depresses me. alas, i will stop talking! :)

some equally good news, i will be gone for the ENTIRE month of July. HOORAH HOORAH!! i seriously can't wait to get away from all this california melodramatic shit. i just wanna go to costa where every day is like a freaking vacation and i'm with my cousins who are the best in the world and treat me like a baby, which i am in the group. but yeah, you have no idea (whoever you are) how badly i need to just get away and forget this place ever existed. even if it is for just a month.

going back to the bad news, my opinion of someone has been thrown in the fucking trash can. FUCK THAT. i was stupid for even trying. and also, this may sound really gross to some, but i have chorro. if you know what that means, then.....
GOOD FOR YOU!!!

Song of the day: Dig- Incubus

Until next time,
Sary

just for the record

this spring break was the best spring break of my life. read em and weep:

• Hollywood
  
• VEGAS!


• Grand Canyon


• Solvang

oh yeah and i spent them with the hottest guy i have ever seen. that was a plus.

Until next time

Sary