^^ that might be one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard.WELL. I'm back. I have neglected- scratch that- forgotten about my blogger for a month and a half. For this I apologize. But I have to admit, I've been feeling kind of....incomplete for the past few weeks haha. This might be the reason. So here I am on a Thursday night, it's 12:43 a.m., about ready to go to bed and it hits me: I haven't written an entry since June 13th! I drag my hands to type the url in the address bar, thinking that if I don't do it now, I never will. Which of course leaves the question: what do I write about?
Honestly, my thoughts are so juggled between new friends, old friends, school, California (always), movies I have to see, annoying people, my fears, Cabaret, VW Bugs, the gym, the future, the past, love interests (or lack thereof), guitar strings, the electric bill, my music, my friend in Montreal, money, Jon & Kate plus 8, my diminishing hard drive space, family, Smallville, Comic-Con, how late it is, etc., that I wouldn't even know where to begin even if I wanted to. So let's just all be content with me saying: those are the things that I've been thinking about/doing since I last wrote. That and my new obsession with Liza Minnelli HAHA (weird?!).
But seriously, let's just wipe the slate clean and talk about things commencing as of.....now. In fact, let's talk about what the future holds for me in the months to come. It's hard to believe that on August 29th, I'll have been here for a year. It's gone by so excruciatingly slow for me. I mean California seems so far back in my life now. The good news is that I'm going back in December! I want to go for all of my vacation. I have so many things that I want to do, people I want to see, places I want to visit again. I cannot wait. So there's that, and the quarter ends in one month, so I'm seeing which classes I'm signing up for and stuff. School here is....interesting. Actually forget I just said that. It's sad. It's really sad. I'm studying something I absolutely hate and I....really don't have any true friends at school. I mean, I have a lot of friends, don't get me wrong. But in reality they're just people that I hang out with at school so I don't have to sit alone at lunch haha. I mean, I don't hang out with them outside of school or anything, and I certainly don't trust any of them enough to really get to know me. And I consciously make this decision every day for a number of reasons. One is that I'm so bitter about going to this school that I refuse to look on the bright side and make some actual friends so I cut myself off emotionally. Another is that even if I wanted to make some true friends for life, I'm leaving in a little more than a year. Why put myself through the same pain I had when I left California? I just really don't see the point. And on top of all that, I compare everyone to my best friends back home....no one even comes close to them.
There's also the situation about my citizenship and license. In a few weeks I will officially be Costa Rican, and thereby will be able to get my license, and thereby will be able to get a car, and thereby will have a kick-ass 1971 Super Beetle :D
I was looking at some today and called the owners too. Looks promising so far. Still haven't found that right one for me though. Let's see what else? Oh, I don't remember what I exactly said about my uncle last time, but he made it through his surgery and then about 3 weeks ago almost died for a completely different reason. I don't really want to get into what happened, but he's alive and well again! I mean, if I told you the whole story you wouldn't believe it. It's seriously a miracle that he's still alive. But because of what happened they had to post-pone the chemo. I don't know when he starts.
In other news, I've been re-assessing my life again, and I'm sort of stuck in terms of what I really want to accomplish in my life. But even more so, the person that I want to be. I mean I have this picture, but I'm just not sure how to get there. But I know that the first step is to start loving myself more. I'm almost there. And I have a feeling that in the months to come that step will be fully taken.
And that's about it for now! I didn't mean for it to get this long! haha. But I promise to start writing more often, I seriously really missed this.
Song of the day: Jesus was a Crossmaker- The Hollies
Until next time
Sary