Crazy times

I've had a weird past couple of days.

Yesterday:

I awoke to my mom telling me to get ready because we had to go to a funeral. REWIND. "What?!" It turns out my dad's best friend mom died. I never met her but I really love my dad's friend, I've known him since I was a few months old. I was a little hesitant to go at first, but I wanted to go to support him. I had never been to a funeral so I had no idea what to expect. Was I going to see my first dead body? Anyways, another friend came to pick us up at noon and off we went to the service.

He seemed a little worried in the car and I asked what was wrong. He told us that he had just driven over the bridge to get to our house and saw a girl peering over the edge. His mom was in the car with him and said, " Hey look, she's probably gonna jump!" They both laughed and didn't think anything of it. As we were driving back down the bridge, we saw police cars and firetrucks on the side of the road. We were all thinking the same thing and hoping that it wasn't true. Sure enough, the girl jumped off and killed herself. I never saw her, but just the fact that he had seen her minutes before and now she was dead....he told us later he had thought about pulling over to talk to her, but he never did.

So it turns out we got to the service late, and ended up not going to the burial because it was too far away which I was happy about because I wasn't sure I could handle it. But seeing all those people there at the church made me think about what would happen when one of my family members died. The only person I've really known who has died is my grandma, but I wasn't as close with her as my other grandma, my paternal grandma. That was almost 6 years ago now. My mom and I were talking about what would happen when she and my grandpa died. I don't even want to think about that day. The entire extended family will just be destroyed and I will be inconsolable to say the least.

All in all, yesterday was a big day of reflection for me, something I wasn't expecting at all when I woke up. So it was kind of a crazy day.

Then today the entire world stopped because of the earthquake in Chile and the tsunami in Hawaii. Watching it all unfold on the news made it look like a movie. I was really scared, not because we were in danger, but seeing all those other people whose homes had been destroyed in Chile and the people just waiting for the tsunami to come in Hawaii....it was just something straight out of a movie. Watching it made me realize that one day, some huge natural disaster will happen and there'll be nothing we can do about it, just like today. Except today, a lot of people got extremely lucky.

So I don't know, yesterday and today just made me realize how freaking fragile our lives are, that they could go at any minute. And I've always known that I suppose, but the last two days just made it more tangible, more real. Weird feelings, weird vibes around me all day. Hopefully I can just take everything in and not let it affect me so much, but it really has opened my eyes.

Anyways, almost 2 more months till I turn 20. Whoooopeeeee.....

Song of the day: Waterfalls- TLC

Until next time

Sary

plus side

The only good thing about this heat wave is that I get to sleep with the fan on :) I don't know why I love that so much. I guess it's because it reminds me of hot summer nights back home, going to Chris's house, watching The Goonies, then coming home with all the windows down in the car and not feeling cold at all, then getting into bed and sleeping with the windows open and the fan on....haha I know it doesn't sound exciting but it's little things like that that just make me the happiest person in the world.

I really need to post the list of small things that make me happy...next time.

My goal for this week is STILL to write my resumé and start sending it out...haven't done that yet but I will!

For now I'll leave you with a new music discovery....well not really new, but...you know.

Song of the day: Fader- The Temper Trap

Until next time

Sary

Unwrap you like peppermints

Good evening!

I have absolutely nothing to do but I'm in such a calm state of mind, I figured right now would be perfect to write. Today was super hot all day, but as soon as the sun set it got sooo nice. It reminded me of summer nights back home when it felt good to roll the window down in the car at night and sleep with the windows open. Ahh, just thinking about it puts me in a good mood. That's definitely at the top of my "Simple Pleasures of Life" list. I should write all of them down in the next entry!

So I finally got my I.D. and my driver's license which means I am officially a Costa Rican citizen. I was honestly more excited about the driver's license haha. I can finally freaking drive now. I started exercising again after about 3 months. Starting up again is always hard because you feel out of shape but you just gotta get back in the rhythm again. But I'm not going to the gym, screw that. I haaate going to the gym, although the one thing I will really miss is that cute guy that I always saw haha. He probably has a girlfriend though with my luck. Instead of the gym, I'm just running around my neighborhood which is really good to run in. I'm going to try to run at least 3 or 4 times a week....no 4. Let's say 4.

I started messing around with photoshop again and it's so much fun! I got really, really good at one point about 6 months ago but stopped for some reason, so I'm re-learning all the cool tricks I learned before. I also started drawing again, I'm working on Freddie Mercury right now. It's definitely one of the harder ones I've had to do.

Running, drawing, using Photoshop, whatever, it all keeps my mind busy which is what I really need. I need to feel like I'm not wasting my time in the house all day and I need to feel productive as well. I think mentally, I'm pretty stable right now, as far as not losing my mind to boredom goes. My next step is to get set financially- I NEED A JOB. Goal next week is to write my resumé and just start sending it everywhere. I need my own money so I can stop asking my parents and hopefully pay for the car so we won't have to sell it. You have no idea how sad it's made me this past week. It's like the one thing that really made me happy here is being taken away after only 4 months. Anyways, I'm hoping that works out.

I've found it's really easier to not feel like I'm just wasting oxygen by setting goals for myself every week. They don't have to be huge, just something like "type out my resumé" or "Study for the test a week earlier". Little things like that. It really makes me feel like I accomplished something regardless of how big or small it is. Anywho, my eyes are getting tired. I've spent all weekend doing this huge project for math, I should finish it by tomorrow....well I kinda have to, it's due on Monday haha. Have a good night whoever you are, wherever you are.

Song of the day: Who Needs Shelter- Jason Mraz

Until next time

Sary

Later, Bruce

"Random thoughts, Valentine's day 2010. Today is a day invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap."

And on that note, my parents told me today that they're selling the Volkswagen.

Best Valentine's day EVER.

Floating in Space

Ugh, I've been meaning to write for the longest time, but I've been going to bed at like 3 a.m. everyday.

Not much to write about except that the car has been in the shop for like two weeks and it's going to cost more than $400 to fix it....fuck my life. It honestly doesn't bother me, I'm paying for half of it anyway, but the part that I can't stand is my parents bitching about it and saying I told you so.

I seriously need a job. Like now. I'm going to make my resumé this weekend....if I have time haha. I'm going up to the mountain house this weekend, FINALLY! I've been waiting for like 2 months now. It's going to be so nice to just go up and get away from everything for a while, even though I have a crapload of homework to do while I'm up there.

Valentine's day is on Sunday.....yet another year goes by and I'm alone. It's ridiculous how much I want to be with someone for once....ugh JEEEEEZE.

AAAANYWAYS.

I'm listening to "Screaming Infidelities" right now and it totally reminds me of middle school haha. OH, I've been catching up on Ghost Hunters recently, watching all the episodes I've missed since summer of '08 haha. It's so good, I love that show. I seriously have to catch up on Smallville too :/

I was reading some old notes I got in high school from Allie and Casey and they're sooo funny, but they make me soooo nostalgic....looking back life seemed so much simpler, but at the time it felt like the hardest thing in the world....if I knew then what I know now haha.....

I honestly do wish I could go back though. Maybe I'd tell myself what not to do in the future. It would've saved me some serious heartache. Anyways, pretty senseless post, but I wanted to get one in. I'll write again on Sunday, I promise.

Song of the day: New Perspective- Panic! at the Disco

Until next time

Sary