Reflections

It's new years eve.

Much to write about today, the last day of the year. Well let's start off first with a summary of my weekend yes? Ok. 

So I left on Friday for the beach house with a terrible cough, which I still have. But it was seriously the best time I ever had at the beach house, all things considered. Perhaps what I enjoyed the most, apart from being with my cousins was the scenery and nature. On Saturday I 

woke up at 5:30 a.m. with Nathalia and went for a walk on the beach, all the way down to the 

mouth of the river which is about half an hour from where we were. The sun was just coming     up and it was.... well beautiful to say the least. Really a sight. There were only a few other 

people on the beach, but I felt like we were the only two people in the world. Definitely need to do that more often- get up at the crack of dawn and go for a walk. That same day we went to Puntarenas at night and ate some snow cones. SO GOOD. Then we took a walk on the pier, there wasn't a cloud in the sky and there were so many stars...another really cool thing we did. The beach at night here is just like nothing I've ever seen before. It's almost spiritual. Ugh. Anyways.

The rest of the trip consisted of going to the beach, getting a tan, coming back to the pool, beach again, pool again, board games, scary stories, a trip to Jaco, and sweet tunes as always. Amazing trip, considering I was sick the entire time. 

And now I'm here sitting at my computer, my parents are at the house because the container with all of our stuff conveniently decided to come today, and I'm reflecting on everything that's happened in the past year, trying to think of a way to sum up my thoughts and feelings towards 2008. 

Well. 

I wouldn't say 2008 was the best year of my life, but without a doubt the most interesting, the most evolutionary. At the beginning of the year, I was a bumbling senior in high school, eagerly awaiting the next senior munch, taking in every moment that was left of my high school career, I still had my braces on (haha) and was anxiously waiting to graduate in June. If you had told 

me then, that I would be here, in my grandparent's house in Costa Rica, starting college in January, and would be living here for the next several years of my life I would've thought you were crazy. At the beginning of '08, I had every intention of going to Cal State Long Beach and following my dream of becoming a director. Nothing was going to take me away from California and my friends, the only two things I had ever really known. And then in early April, after much coaxing and almost pleading from my parents, I made the decision to move down here, without really knowing what I was getting myself into. But I made the decision in big part to the fact that I had planned out the rest of my life for the longest time. And I looked down the road and there were no more surprises left. I felt like my life was over, and I was 17 years old. So I thought, "For once in your life, do something spontaneous, something you never planned for. Take the chance." So I did. 

I turned 18 in May and almost instantly, I started questioning everything I had ever known, with big thanks to the presidential election. I realized that my entire life I had blindly been following the beliefs and points of view of my parents without questioning why I thought this way. So I sat down and took the time to question every aspect of my life: religion, politics, love, morals etc. And I said, what do I want out of life? What do I believe and why do I believe it? And finally I had an opinion about life and the world I live in. 

Then I left in August. Probably the scariest thing I've ever had to do. I left my home and Chris and Casey behind, the things I loved the most in the entire world. But it was something I had to do. For myself, for my own personal growth. I needed to get out of California (as much as I loved it) and experience new things, meet different people, get to know a different way of living. I still miss home and my friends as much as the day

 I left, but it gets a little better every day. Nevertheless, I'm counting down the days when I see them again. 

And now it's the last day of December. A year ago today, I was getting ready to go to my uncle's 

house for New Year's. Tonight we're going back up to my aunt's house and I'm definitely looking forward to the fireworks. 

God. Goddy God. Haha. It's definitely been quite a year. One for the books. I've definitely never changed as much as I have this year. Looking back at that kid with braces and looking at myself now, ready to start university and living in Costa Rica, I don't feel like the same person. But that is life. If there is one thing I've learned this year, it's that change is inevitable. We are defined as people by how well we handle that change, and how we learn from our mistakes. If anything, I feel like a much more wiser Sarynelli now, at the end of 2008. I mean, go back to 2007 and look at my one entry in December. It seems like everything I wanted then, I pretty much have right now. Completely different person.

So here's to an even more amazing 2009. It's a year that I'm ready to take on with more conviction than ever before. This is where the real change begins, where my life here really starts, and where I hope to continue to grow even more as a person. I hope I never stop growing. 

Song of the day: Skinny Love- Bon Iver

Until next year

Sary

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

Sorry I haven't updated in a few days. I really meant to write but I've been super busy. 

So.

Today is Christmas Day!! Although Christmas Day has never really been a big deal for us because we always celebrate on Christmas eve. So last night we went up to Aunt Gloria's house in the mountains. Without trying to sound cheesy, it was such a beautiful night. Not a cloud in the sky, you could see a million stars, and you could see the entire city down below. Plus, (and this was the coolest thing) we could also see people down below setting off fireworks. I mean we were miles away from them and looking out over the city, every once in a while you would see the fireworks shoot off in the distance. Amazing. 

I have to say this is the least I've ever gotten on Christmas, but I am honestly okay with it. I got a few little things here and there, including a Coldplay CD, which of course I already had haha, and a cool jacket from my grandparents. But honestly I've gotten so much already that I really couldn't ask for more, which I'm not. Just the fact that we were able to buy a house, and that my mom could afford to buy me another iPod was enough for me. Plus, my dad bought a whole bunch of blu-rays and got me and my sister a new television each. Seriously I don't need anything else. I am so thankful for the way things have turned out and how lucky we've been in the last few months. 

Not sure what the plan is for today, my cousin came back from the beach where he lives so we might go visit. But tomorrow, actually this whole weekend is going to be tight. Tomorrow we leave for the beach house with my favorite cousins in the entire world and we come back on Monday I think. I've never been too fond of the beach house mostly because I get eaten alive by mosquitoes, but to spend an awesome weekend with my cousins I'll make the sacrifice. We're going to Jaco on Saturday which I've never been and spending the whole day there. Then on Sunday I think we're going to Puntarenas to eat some Churchills which are the best snow cones in the world. Christmas weekend at the beach. Definitely a first. 

So that's the update. New Year's we're going back up to the mountains and hopefully we'll be moved into the house next week! Then it's January and I start school on the 19th....ugh don't even remind me. 

Anyways, I hope you have an amazing Christmas whoever you are. It's hard to believe that a year ago I was unboxing my guitar hero haha. 

Song of the day: Don't Know Why- Norah Jones

Until next time

Sary 

Moving up country

James Yorkston and the Athletes are my new favorite music discovery. Another great band from the Mister Foe soundtrack. But their music is EXACTLY what I'm into. I love it. 

Anyways I'm leaving soon to go to my cousin's house and I thought I'd squeeze in an entry. Not really much to write about except that I'm in a crappy mood because I'm riding the crimson wave and my mom's being annoying. But I did add an episode of Moonlight onto my iPod...oh yeah. 

I can't believe Christmas is on Tuesday....today is the 20th and I thought it was like the 12th haha. December has gone by so fast. The weather has started to clear up which is great. You can tell summer is starting. It's just been beautiful the past week. Clear skies, great temp. And hopefully it will stay this way till April...then back to the rain ugh. 

I think my cousin is here haha so I'd better go. I'll probably update tomorrow when I get back. Have a pleasant weekend!

Song of the day: Junior Boys- Double Shadow

Until next time

Sary

break

"Games that never amount to more than they're meant will play themselves out".

Glen, you're amazing. Pretty much story of my life right now.

So a few minutes ago, I broke off a bracelet that I bought in Huntington Beach a few days before I left. I've been wearing it ever since. Whether this breaking off is symbolical, or just me taking off a bracelet is up to you. I've been wearing it because every time I looked at it I was reminded of the story behind it, and everything I left back home. And lately, every time I look at it, I don't see anything. I mean, I see flashes, but I don't remember what it meant to me with as much conviction anymore. The actions of my friends, well one in particular, have helped me make the decision that I can't expect anything from anyone anymore, thus, the removal of the bracelet. It just doesn't mean what it did to me before.

I have decided that I won't fight it anymore. Friends come and go, life gets in the way and they grow apart....if two months of not a single "Hello" isn't enough for me to understand that, then I don't know what is. Whatever happens next isn't up to me. If we are meant to speak again and be friends like we used to be, then it will happen. I have to believe that things will work themselves out. I am washing my hands, and am dropping any small glimmer of hope that I had for myself, right here and now. I won't speak of this again unless something happens. 

SO.

I am so into my music right now. I guess getting a new iPod has everything to do with this haha. I made tamales yesterday and the day before....well, helped anyway. They came out sooo good. And with my great-grandma's secret recipe? MMM you would die haha. 

It's finally starting to feel like Christmas here. The tamales definitely helped. But my dad is coming on tuesday, and Christmas is on wednesday (for us anyway) and New years is coming up!!! New years, by the way, is one of my favorite holidays. I love everything, the anticipation, the fireworks, the hats, the drinks haha. This year is going to be AWESOME. The last few years have sucked. Like really sucked....

But anyways, in my free time I have come across this amazing tv show called "Moonlight" which got cancelled after 16 episodes. How does that happen when every single week 8 million people were watching? Well, it got cancelled back in May and someone uploaded all the episodes on youtube. I've only known about it for a few days but it's soooo good! I can't believe they cancelled it. But i guess it's a good thing because if it had continued, that would be my new obsession right there. As soon as Smallville ended I would be all over that. And I swore I would NEVER follow another tv show after Smallville haha. I just get too obsessed over these things.

Anywho, that's what's been going on with me lately! What about you?

The next song that comes up on shuffle will be the song of the day!

......

eh, not one of my favorites haha

Song of the day: So Much Trouble- Matt Pond PA

Until next time

Sary

Mr. iPod

dum dum dum dummm!!!

I got my new iPod today. Once again, another thing I am extremely grateful for lately. I don't know if I mentioned this, but we got it for $220 which is less than we got back back, which is great!....

....but with taxes and fees or whatever, they charged us $138 more! Ugh, so much for getting a great price on it haha. But it's better than nothing :/ 

So I went to the house up in the mountains this weekend again, and saw a KILLER rainbow today. It was the only full one I had ever seen, just like a skittles commercial. And on the way back down, we passed by this little community, where every single tree and house was covered in Christmas lights. Ugh I loved it so much. I felt like even though I wasn't back home, I still got to see a little piece of it. But it's funny because the community looked like some village in Italy haha. But I guess what I was told was that every year that street or neighborhood have a competition to see which house has the most lights are something. So cool.

Anyways, my excitement and joy for today have kind of plateaued and are now going slow downhill because I just got an email from my mom's friend back home. Basically she's filled me in sort of on what's been going on with my friend's life and stuff, and then she wrote, "I'm sure she's told you all about this...."

Um, she hasn't. My best friend can't even bother to tell me something so important, let alone say hi and say, "Hey, I'm here. I'm alive. I miss you." Nothing. Nothing for a month and a half. I am seriously almost to the point where I say screw her, have a nice life, I'm glad I left and saw what a shitty friend you really are.

uh...good night. 

Song of the day: Blue Boy- Orange Juice

Until next time

Sary

There is a slight chance

of evening showers. just kidding.

There is a slight chance that Chris might be coming down next summer!! Oh my gosh, I only just talked to him about this a few minutes ago, and I know I'm already assuming too much and I don't want to get my hopes up, but just the thought of my best friend coming down and being here with me....

...it really just made my entire week. Just the thought. Hopefully everything will work out. That would seriously be the coolest thing ever. OAICJ;AOEWIN. So many things and places to see gaaahhh! I can't even begin to think. 

And I think my girl crush on Sophia Myles is just a little bit too obsessive now? haha. I saw Mister Foe last night, thanks to Simon (!) and I loved it. Now I just gotta find a way to download it haha. Pleasant dreams!!

Song of the day: No I in Threesome- Interpol

Until next time

Sary

Cinematically Deprived

I think the last time I wrote, or even talked about a movie in here was more than a year ago, with The Million Dollar hotel. Living in Costa Rica has definitely deprived me of my cinematic discoveries, which is one of the worst things for me. I no longer have that cool indie movie theater by UCI, and most other mainstream movies don't get here till months after they've been released in the US. Just to give you an idea, "Baby Mama" is listed as a new release at the closest movie theater nearby.....YEAH. haha. 

This probably means that I'll have to either:

A) Download movies off of Limewire, which I hate because

i. Given the shitty wireless connection I get here, it usually takes a few days

ii. For the most part, I can only get them when they're out on DVD, which is months after 

it's out in theaters anyway.

iii. It takes up space on my computer!

B) Pray that they are at whichever video store we affiliate ourselves with once we move, at which point I will probably be disappointed about 50% of the time because

i. ANY independent film usually doesn't make it over here

ii. Most of them are pirated so image quality is pretty much out the window

OR

C) Suck it up and try my best to wait until I go back to California, and spend a crap load of money on all the movies I haven't seen.

.... yes, the only way I can express my frustration is through an outline haha. 

So there are many movies that I am dying to see at the moment:

-Synecdoche, New York

-Cashback

-Adaptation

-Rachel Getting Married

-MISTER FOE

I say that last one enthusiastically because I've been wanting to watch it since last year, and only recently has it been released in the US (one week after I left). URGHHH. I've been looking everywhere for torrents, but most of them are broken or 4G's.... the latter is DEFINITELY not happening haha. I've heard mixed reviews, but it looks like such a cool story and I've been a fan of Jamie Bell since "Billy Elliot". Plus, I'd be lying if I said if I didn't want to watch it in substantial part to my girl crush on Sophia Myles.

Song of the day: Andvari- Sigur Ros

Until next time 

Sary

72

Today was the most beautiful day I had seen in 3 months. It was just....perfection. Reminded of driving back home with the windows down.

And that's all I'm going to write today.

Song of the day: Gravity Rides Everything- Modest Mouse

Until next time

Sary

Conjunction

Really quick summary of yesterday:

My cousins picked me up at 2:00 and we went to Multi-Plaza, which is a mall nearby. While we were there, we went Christmas shopping for what seemed like forever, and then at this toy store, I ran into one of my cousin's ex-boyfriends...

....awkward!

The thing is, he's pretty  much a psycho and the entire family hates him. I wasn't here when they broke up, but needless to say I was on my family's side. So anyway, we spent another half hour and the freaking toy store and he was there for 25 minutes of that half hour. I spent the entire time avoiding him. Then we went to this store called "Vertigo" which is like...F.Y.E.? But I think they closed...anyways, I bought X&Y: The latin american tour version....what a rip-off! 

I was all excited because it came with a dvd, so I thought it was from their concert or whatever. All it was, was a couple of new songs which I had already heard before (and I had most of them) set to a slideshow haha. Turns out the word "tour" had nothing to do with it. The lies of consumerism! 

Anyways, what I really want to get to today is a little something I did a while ago, and I thought I'd share it with y'all. About a month ago, I made a list. It was a list of all the things I want to accomplish before I get married. Now I say "married" because I have the notion, or understanding rather, that once you're married your life is over....haha your life is over in the sense that, all the things you wanted to do when you were single or younger, are no longer possible, or at least will have to be postponed to some other time later in your life. The only thing that comes to mind when to give you a better example is in "Knocked Up" when Paul Rudd says, "Say when you're single and you want to live in India for a year! When you're single you can do that, not when you're married." (Or something like that). 

I realized, with a big thanks to Mondonation for opening my eyes, that there are so many things that I want to accomplish. Writing them all down on paper somehow made them more tangible, and it made me feel like a had a purpose. So I folded up that little piece of paper and put it in my wallet and vowed never to get rid of it, until I had accomplished all my goals. Being where I am right now, I felt like my dreams of being a filmmaker where gone forever, but I realized this is just...an ellipsis (to rob Garden State :]) until I move back to California. In fact I know that when I go back I'll have learned so much from being here, and be a much more mature person, that it will actually help me a lot. So maybe there is a reason why I'm here after all...

Anyways, just some words of wisdom for you, of the little wisdom I do have. Write down your goals and dreams, or whatever you want to accomplish. I know it made me feel great. Vow to do them and check them off one by one...you'll feel like a much more accomplished human being :)

Song of the day: Gravity- Coldplay

Until next time

Sary

December

is here!!!! A.K.A. my favorite month of the entire year, as I've mentioned a few times before.

I've decided that I won't be a grinch and let the fact that I'm in Costa Rica stop me from being in the Christmas spirit. I've already downloaded a ton of Christmas songs and put them on a Christmas playlist that will probably play non-stop for the entire month. I also just downloaded a crap load of Christmas wallpapers and set them to rotate on my desktop. 

And I've got a ton of Christmas activities to do this month such as: Bake gingerbread cookies, and make another gingerbread house, decorate the Christmas tree, make tamales on the 13th (!!!!!), help my grandma make eggnog, and so on and so forth. 

If that still doesn't help my situation, I'll just lock myself in my room and pretend that I'm back home haha. My room is going to be a winter wonderland, most definitely. Anyways, I'm missing a KILLER sunset right about now, so I'll leave you with a new song, and a new blog interface! 

I thought I'd go old school and put some Judy Garland on here haha. To this day, I still cry when she sings it in "Meet me in St. Louis". Yes I know, I am a geek.

Song of the day: The Christmas Song- Michael Buble

Until next time

Sary