seriously?

ughhhh. SO frustrated right now....I've met about 3 new guys in the last two weeks, all of whom I have liked instantly and then I meet their beautiful girlfriends. It's like drowning in the ocean, trying to surface for air and as soon as you get up, another wave crashes down on top of you.

i'm pissed. and my internet connection is soooo messed up.

Song of the day: Move on up- Curtis Mayfield

Until next time

Sary

Humidity sucks

Let's see if I can roll this out in 15 minutes!

So recently, I've been trying to make my room more interesting. Apart from the James Dean and Coldplay posters, it's really freaking bland. So I decided to finally hook up the turntable to the sound system to no avail, because the receiver doesn't have a phono input which makes the sound really shitty so I have to get a pre-amp which is about 50 bucks back home which means it's about 100 here OR I could get another receiver which is another hassle and I don't know anyone I can trade with. So there's that. But the good news is there was yet another Coldplay poster that came with the vinyl version of X&Y so I have to put that up soon and I figured I could start hanging all the drawings I've been doing. The plan was to hang them all up at the end, but 5/9 of the way there, so I don't see the harm in starting now.

Apart from that, school started last week and I've been trying to keep up with my reading. I finished To Kill a Mockingbird almost two weeks ago and I have yet to start 1984 so I really need to get on that. I've decided that being super organized is the only way to live haha. I feel so much....calmer? I don't know. But having my room and school work organized just takes a lot off my shoulders for some reason and it makes me feel in complete control which is never bad.

Not much else has happened really. I can't wait to get a job so I can start making my own money. Next month, I SWEAR.

Song of the day: We Will Become Silhouttes- Death Cab for Cutie

Until next time

Sary

Boo Rad

My 2 days of being 20 so far have been great. I haven't gone anywhere, I've been stuck in the house, but I'm in such a great peace of mind. Nothing has upset me at all. And in the last two days I've come to realize that the things that upset us are done so by our own will. We have the decision every day to choose to let things upset us or not. It's something I've heard and known for quite some time now, but never put it into practice. But it's something that I want to keep exercising for a long time.

So about two weeks ago I started reading Catcher in the Rye. Why you ask? Well I had been wanting to for quite a while because I realized that being stuck in the house so much, all I do is watch TV and go on the internet for hours on end. I could feel myself start to get dumber and dumber each day by not expanding my mind. I used to love reading as a kid, but I guess somehow my obsession with movies and television took over my mind. Not to mention, the obligation of having to read and analyze books in school just took the fun out of it. So for a very long time, I rejected books, I loathed them, I thought reading was such a pain. Then a while back, I realized that I had to start reading again. And we have a bunch of books in the house, but the only ones that would really interest me were the ones I had from high school. So I started with Catcher in the Rye and I finished it in two days.

I then decided that I would read every book I had read in high school...or not read. The truth is, most of the books I read in high school, I read half-way and sparknoted the rest. So it will probably be like I'm reading all of them for the first time. I'm reading To Kill a Mockingbird right now, I'm half-way through. In any case, I feel the same way I did when I was kid in terms of reading. I love it. I kind of wish now that I was in English class so I could school everybody when it came to analyzing. Looking back I could've done so much better in school if I hadn't been so goddamn lazy. Anywho, it's bad to have regrets in life.

I forgot how much I missed writing here. I haven't written lately probably because I've had nothing to write about, but with this newfound wisdom I'll be writing a lot more. It really is therapeutic for me. :)

Song of the day: World Spins Madly On- The Weepies

Until next time

Sary

the big 2-0

Today is my birthday. I'm 20 years old. I'm no longer a teenager. Today has been a whirlwind of emotions. Nostalgia because I have to say goodbye to my teenage years. Excitement because I am ready to take on my 20's. Gratitude because the outpour of love I have received today from my friends and family has been amazing. I don't know what it is, but right now I'm in such a moment of clarity....like I know exactly how I want to spend my 20's and not waste all the time I did in my teenage years by being depressed and pessimistic and mean. I want to live life to the fullest for the next ten years and just be happy all the time, try and look on the bright side of things. I am so thankful for everything in my life right now.

It's funny, but every year, writing in my blogger, looking back on the past year I reflect on how much I've changed since my last birthday. But this year, I feel like I'm still the same person from last year, just with a different set of goals, with a different outlook on life. Things will change starting now. I can't wait to see what the next 10 years will be like....then I'll be 30....jesus......

Song of the day: A Melody, the Memory- Mae

Until next time

Sary