Wow. Well, quite a lot to talk about my first time back in a month or so. First, I want to say how flattered I am that I actually have some followers. I know, I KNOW. It's only 2, but the fact that anyone would take the time out to read my verbose, non-sensical ramblings is really something. Hopefully I can gain a bigger audience, that is if I keep updating this regularly.
So, my time in Costa Rica is almost up; less than a year and I'll be back home. There are going to be a lot of changes in the coming months and I have a feeling that there will be a snowball effect coming my way very soon. Once things start happening, it will be constant change and chaos for the next few years. I can honestly say I can't see any time to settle down within the next 4 years or so. It is scary, (very scary) but I am so excited. After being so stationary and inhibited I am so ready and willing to face anything, to go out into the world and start being the person I want to become.
Since the last time I wrote, I've read some amazing books, discovered new, wonderful music, have been making some great art and all of this has helped me keep my mind really busy but in a good way, not just mindless busywork. Maybe that's what's made the time go by so fast. I mean, it's almost Christmas. Anyone that knows me knows that I LIVE for the month of December. Actually my greatest joy in life comes from Thanksgiving Day all the way up to New Years. I could write an entire essay of what that time of year means to me and how it affects me.
I feel so scatterbrained right now I can't even put all my thoughts into coherent sentences...maybe it's because I just watched Inception again...actually that IS why. After witnessing all that creation I felt inspired to come and create (to the best of my ability) here. I don't know what it is but lately I've had the biggest urge and need to create, to LEARN, my God! I've been wanting to learn everything about everything: art, music, novels, religion, but most important of all, about myself. This is one of the few defining moments I'll ever have in my life and it's happening now. I can decide, I can determine my life any way I want to as of now. I'll look back and my happiness in the future will have depended on this time. So, I want to know as much about me right now as I can. I want to meditate, I want to reflect, I want to deconstruct myself, I want to travel, I want to go somewhere and just be completely alone and in silence, in essence I want to know myself as much as I can now, so as to determine what I'll want in the future. And I know- people change, circumstances change, life changes, etc. and there's no way to plan out your life moment by moment. But that won't stop me from trying to create the perfect blueprint.
I hope all of this makes sense. I have no idea where this sudden outburst of realization and enlightenment came from but it literally came out of nowhere. And plus, I haven't written in a long time and I needed to get all this out anyway. Unless I am possessed by another wave of insanity, the regular updates will come soon, most likely on the weekend. Then I'll write about music, films, novels stuff that doesn't require too many neurons. It's great to be back!
Song of the day: Same Changes- The Weepies
Until next time,
Sary
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