milestone

i think this entry's title is very appropriate, considering that i just graduated from highschool and it's my 100th post. so it's a milestone in my life, and the life of my blogger haha. well to catch up, let's start with disneyland.

the buses got there about 45 minutes late and we didn't get there till almost ten. it was freaking hot that day, the new toy story ride opened, and 15 other schools decided to go that day too. so needless to say it wasn't so much fun. i mean, i tried my best to not be so pessimistic and did have some fun, but long lines and a burning sun is never a good combination at disneyland haha.

then yesterday was graduation. and there's much to say about that. well, first thing i did in the morning was bolt over to target and buy "viva la vida". i love every single song on there except one, which doesn't happen often with me and albums. it's simply amazing. then in the afternoon i drove myself to tustin high and i got there like 10 minutes early so parking was NOT a bitch haha. then i went into the gym to wait and it was sooo hot and sticky, everyone was pretty much miserable. then we walked out into the blazing sun and sat for about an hour listening to everyone's speeches and whatnot. and then they called our names and right after i started dancing in line, they called my name and i got my diploma. my favorite part? turning my tassel from right to left and throwing my cap up in the air. i had been waiting to do that since i was a little girl.

despite the excitement towards the end though, i felt (and i still do) numb towards everything in a way. maybe it was the fact that it hadn't really registered, or the fact that i was just completely over highschool. still, i regret that i didn't feel more emotion.

then grad night was last night. it was pretty fun for the most part, except towards the end when i was completely drained and just wanted to go home. we left dave & busters at 5ish and i got home at quarter to 6. once again, i didn't feel anything over the fact that this was the last time i would be with all the other seniors in years. i was completely apathetic to the fact that this was the last senior event, or the last time i would be driving out of the parking lot and stuff like that.

and even as i am writing this, i still don't believe that i graduated yesterday and that i'm out of highschool. i still feel like i have school tomorrow and it'll be the same routine as always: park in the junior lot, walk to zero, hate english, walk with courtney to econ, make fun of sads with lauren, book it over to math and dread it, have break with sam and kathryn, eagerly waiting for psych to start, having in depth life discussions with kelsey and jill, laugh my butt off with the entire class, and just hang around in video.

well, for lack of feeling, the nostalgia is certainly kicking in. i know it sounds cliche but the last 4 years, especially senior year, have gone by so fast. looking back, i wouldn't mind going back to a monotous day of school one last time. i know it sounds crazy, but that's how it is.

on another note, completely aside from school, i am so over one particular aspect of my life. i realized that i shouldn't have to settle for anything or anyone, i don't even care about this thing that has been bugging me for a long time, and i couldn't be leaving at a better time. in fact i wish i was leaving sooner.

Song of the day: Death and All his Friends- Coldplay

PEACE