How far is heaven?

I have one bar on my internet connection!! Aaah! It's gonna go any second now so I'll try to type this as fast as I can. Before I vent about my religious point of view, I just thought I'd tell you I'm two pounds lighter. I guess you lose the most in the first week. But it's a work in progress. The diet lasts two months so I didn't expect to lose all the weight I wanted immediately. I just try and take it one day at a time. 

Ok so, my topic for today. By the way, I realize that 3 people at most read my blog so it's not like we can go into a religious debate here, but I just wanted to let you know what my views about heaven are because I haven't really found a forum (i don't mean an internet forum. you know what i mean though) where I can speak openly and honestly about this, so I figured this would be the perfect place. If you want to chime in, please be my guest. Okay, so. HEAVEN. 

Someone asked me if I believed in heaven the other day. I opened my mouth but no sound came out for about five seconds. I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but I just didn't know how to word it. Finally I spoke, and it went something like this: I want to believe in heaven. The idea of life after death, just the idea itself, is so audacious to me. The possibility that we might live forever just completely blows me away. Of course I want to believe that something so magnificent can exist. However, do I know that heaven exists? No. I don't know if heaven exists. Why? Because I haven't seen it. No one has come back from the dead and told me about it. Now, I'm not one of those pessimistic people who say " If I can see it and I can touch it, then it's real". Those people are pathetic. There are billions of things in the universe that exist whether we believe in them or not. There are billions of things that exist in the universe in which we can't even begin to fathom their existence. It doesn't mean they don't exist. Conversely, there are millions of things that don't exist, regardless of our beliefs. They just don't. Heaven falls into this category of things that do or do not exist. It may or may not exist. I simply don't know. And that is my answer. Of course it's possible that it can exist, just as easily as it can't. Am I getting my point across? Now, this doesn't mean I'm agnostic, because I believe in God. 

Let me rephrase that. I believe in a benevolent force that binds, connects, and rules every living thing in this universe. Am I going to put a name on it? No. I don't have to. But just for other's people sake, when they ask me, "Do you believe in God?" I don't want to say, " I believe in the benevolent force that binds, connects, and rules everything." Instead, to make it easier for everyone, I just say "God". 

So to sum things up, I don't know if heaven exists, but I'd like to believe that it does. And I try to not think about too much in my everyday life. Heaven is not a place, it's a destination. In other words, it's not something that people just look at, people actually want to get into heaven. And what do they do to get into heaven? They go to church, feed the poor, and do general good deeds. I recently just realized that that entire act is such a juxtaposition. Supposedly, you're doing good for the sake of others right? But really, it's just to save your own ass from going to hell. So there is nothing noble about these "noble acts" you commit is there? That's why I don't try to think about heaven too much. Because if I do something good for someone, I want it to be for the mere fact that it is the right thing to do. Period, end of story. That's why I don't agree with Christianity and a lot of other religious groups. But that's another entry. I don't really want to get into religion, seeing as how this is one of my longest posts!

But wow, it feels amazing to get it all off my chest. Whooooooo. I said everything I wanted to say. So please, if you're reading this, whoever you are, and you have an opinion, talk to me. 

Song of the day: Just for now- Imogen Heap

Until next time

Sary