As You May Have Noticed

I haven't written in about two months.

So much has happened since I last wrote: I finished my third quarter of school, went back home to Cali, discovered some awesome new music, had a falling out with a friend, made up with a friend, came back home, reached a new level of depression.

My experience of going back home was so crazy I can't even begin to describe it. On the spectrum of feelings though, I was definitely on both extremes. I've felt the happiest I've ever felt in my life and the saddest I can honestly say. Going back home really just made things worse though.

I miss it now more than I ever have, I miss my friends more than I ever have. But I do feel somewhat changed; I experienced things and situations that I had never experienced before and now I feel more equipped to confront similar things in the future. It was definitely a growing experience.

Realizing how CONSUMED I was with school last quarter and remembering how good it felt to just let my hair down with my friends back home, I decided that I really need to focus on myself and become the best possible person I can be. I discovered many of my own faults (more than I would have liked to) but it's good because now I know that other people see them too, and I can start working on improving myself, one day at a time.

First up is to start writing more in this blog. I really neglected it last year, especially towards the latter half, and I realized one of the reasons why I felt so trapped and claustrophobic is because I had stopped writing here. It really is therapeutic for me to get everything out that is bothering me, because lord knows I can't talk to anyone about it here. Also, I decided to actually start writing some full-length songs. Ever since I learned how to play guitar I always play around with chords and stuff, but have never written a full-fledged song. I think writing some will help me get all of these repressed feelings out. Red House Painters have definitely inspired me. I guess I'll consider these my unofficial New Year's resolutions.

In any case, I promise to start writing more and keep you updated. Writing helps the weeks go by faster for some reason. And as of now, the end of the year is the only thing that is keeping me motivated.

Song of the day: Homesick- Kings of Convenience

Until next time

Sary