Crazy times

I've had a weird past couple of days.

Yesterday:

I awoke to my mom telling me to get ready because we had to go to a funeral. REWIND. "What?!" It turns out my dad's best friend mom died. I never met her but I really love my dad's friend, I've known him since I was a few months old. I was a little hesitant to go at first, but I wanted to go to support him. I had never been to a funeral so I had no idea what to expect. Was I going to see my first dead body? Anyways, another friend came to pick us up at noon and off we went to the service.

He seemed a little worried in the car and I asked what was wrong. He told us that he had just driven over the bridge to get to our house and saw a girl peering over the edge. His mom was in the car with him and said, " Hey look, she's probably gonna jump!" They both laughed and didn't think anything of it. As we were driving back down the bridge, we saw police cars and firetrucks on the side of the road. We were all thinking the same thing and hoping that it wasn't true. Sure enough, the girl jumped off and killed herself. I never saw her, but just the fact that he had seen her minutes before and now she was dead....he told us later he had thought about pulling over to talk to her, but he never did.

So it turns out we got to the service late, and ended up not going to the burial because it was too far away which I was happy about because I wasn't sure I could handle it. But seeing all those people there at the church made me think about what would happen when one of my family members died. The only person I've really known who has died is my grandma, but I wasn't as close with her as my other grandma, my paternal grandma. That was almost 6 years ago now. My mom and I were talking about what would happen when she and my grandpa died. I don't even want to think about that day. The entire extended family will just be destroyed and I will be inconsolable to say the least.

All in all, yesterday was a big day of reflection for me, something I wasn't expecting at all when I woke up. So it was kind of a crazy day.

Then today the entire world stopped because of the earthquake in Chile and the tsunami in Hawaii. Watching it all unfold on the news made it look like a movie. I was really scared, not because we were in danger, but seeing all those other people whose homes had been destroyed in Chile and the people just waiting for the tsunami to come in Hawaii....it was just something straight out of a movie. Watching it made me realize that one day, some huge natural disaster will happen and there'll be nothing we can do about it, just like today. Except today, a lot of people got extremely lucky.

So I don't know, yesterday and today just made me realize how freaking fragile our lives are, that they could go at any minute. And I've always known that I suppose, but the last two days just made it more tangible, more real. Weird feelings, weird vibes around me all day. Hopefully I can just take everything in and not let it affect me so much, but it really has opened my eyes.

Anyways, almost 2 more months till I turn 20. Whoooopeeeee.....

Song of the day: Waterfalls- TLC

Until next time

Sary